It's Already Gone
by hisviks
Summary: Because the thought of watching True Blood season 7 sounds about as enticing as watching Bill's sideburns grow in. 10 connected one-shots. 10 farewells. Sookie/Eric HEA but not the traditional kind. - NO SPOILERS - M for language. Will be here every Sunday till the end.-NOW COMPLETE -
1. Chapter 1 - Alcide Herveaux

**A/N: Thanks for taking the time to read my latest story. I wrote this out of concern of what season seven might be. I have a more extensive explanation of how this story came to be but it's far too lengthy to be an A/N. A link on my profile will guide you to it at my blog. I bid a character farewell each week and I put up a banner for the next character on the same blog (hisviks dot wordpress dot com). There's also some news on the continuation of In Memorium there so if you're interested follow the links.**

**I will post a new chapter alongside the show every Sunday. I haven't incorporated any spoilers, if you are considerate enough to leave a review please keep that in my mind for people who don't have immediate access to the show. **

**Please note that I don't own anything pertaining to the universe of SVM and True Blood created by Charlaine Harris and HBO. Any recognisable characters, story lines and/or dialogue belong to them. All quotes in italics are direct lines from the show.**

Chapter 1 – Alcide Herveaux

'_What if our hearts can't be trusted and it's our brains we should be listening to?'- Alcide Herveaux s04e12_

SPOV

I once accused Bill Compton he didn't know what love was. As far as I was concerned he didn't even get to carry that word in his mouth so great was his misunderstanding of it. Now I wondered if the accusation had been, like most directed out in anger, speaking as much truth about myself as of the other.

I had told the man who had stood by my side for six months that I loved him. As his body was laid to rest my thoughts were that it was just another coffin in the ground. I wondered if I had spoken those words to him in truth. Had I ever told the truth when I spoke those words.

I now know I had lied to Alcide. I had returned the words out of obligation, not because I actually felt them. I was no better than Bill but at least my deception wasn't an orchestrated one. The word 'too' had been added whenever I spoke them, usually absently over the phone or in passing. Never with reverence. His mind told me he would leave me if I didn't reciprocate the words he spoke to me. That scared me more than telling than telling him a lie. I alleviated my guilt by telling myself I would feel it soon enough.

'_I never did.'_

Those other three words were ones that haunted my mind often enough. My indulgence into romance novels always had me believe 'I love you' was the statement that had you falling forward. Falling deep.

'_I never did.'_

'_I trust you.'_

I never knew the significance of those other sets of words would have in my life. The one who had enunciated those words to me had once told me he loved me too. Without the word too. Love had lost meaning to me then. I could no longer understand it. Was it me or another? Blood or sensation?

He had never given up on me. Alcide did. He had continued a relationship that was never to be a successful one. They both tried too hard to make it work, instead they ended up strangling the connection that had once initiated it. My relationship with Alcide was not dissimilar, where Debbie ran to drugs from insecurity and jealousy I retreated emotionally and dug myself into my work. Arlene was happy to have me for the extra shifts. Especially since I didn't take a full wage for it.

We had some good times but mostly unmemorable. We went on dates did mundane things that didn't involve being a werewolf and a telepathic fairy. The escape was nice whilst it lasted but as Alcide always tried to deny what he truly was, I never could. I was a fairy and the more I let her speak for me the better of I would be. _He _had given me that sage advice once only now did I listen.

I had been denying my instincts, shrouding myself with the illusion that being human was within my reach. I didn't fully understand that till I recognised it in Alcide. I never had a full moon taunting me to shift. My debut into fairyness was with an igniting injection of vampire blood. Of an ancient variety.

I knew Alcide detested that magical elixir. It had eviscerated the young were woman that held his heart. His declaration of love had been as much as a lie as mine. At least I saw it for what it was. He initiated a relationship with me because he wanted to know who killed Debbie. I had confessed to him that her blood lay upon my hands but he never took that as truth. He never thought me capable of such a destructive act. Though the evidence of that was firmly etched in my guilty mind.

Many people and creatures had come and gone in my life. No one had put much stock in me before, so Alcide's assumptions weren't surprising to me. Only Eric had ever persisted his faith in my abilities valiantly. It was how I came to meet Alcide, Eric had sent him to me because he thought me capable of retrieving a kidnapped vampire from a pack of wolves in Mississippi. He thought me foolish in my attempt but he assured that I was the safest I could possibly be. Despite his words of warning he knew me well enough, I would not relent on my path of destruction for a man who supposedly loved me.

As Eric had always protected me in the shade of night, Alcide was there for me in the day. I was all but ready to shoot his head off when we first met. Then he dropped Eric's name after tackling me to the ground as I tried to unsuccessfully outrun a werewolf as a human. I even boasted about my enhanced strength thanks to an infusion of vampire blood. I don't know what possessed me to think I could best a werewolf when one had nearly overpowered the undefeatable Vampire Sheriff of Area Five the night before. V or no V. Naïve human; thy name is Sookie Stackhouse.

'_Eric Northman's the one who sent me.'_

I felt safe instantly. I had accredited it to Alcide's giant muscular stature at the time. I should have known it was in response to the name of the vampire who delighted in taunting me. As much as I hated him sometimes, he always kept me safe. Or in my absence, my home.

I didn't hesitate to invite Alcide into said home. He seemed more interested in my telepathy than who I was. Alcide made it pretty clear I was just a nuisance to babysit. Where I was raised to fight back when someone took what was yours he preferred to step aside. He had done so with his love of his life, he let her be with Cooter. He let me be with Eric. Alcide never fought for himself. Only for others.

I won't deny there was an attraction between Alcide and I from the moment we properly met. It had little to do with our physiques, his was impressive and mine was enhanced by a rare vintage of the Viking variety. We were both hurting, marred by sudden loss. I shouldn't have been indulging it whilst wearing the ring gifted to me by another man. I did regardless, Eric interrupted our near communion.

It had left us both wondering what could be.

He had always been cast as the good guy in the epic known as my life. He was for the most part but I knew one thing for certain after a lifetime of reading minds. One couldn't be this good if he had nothing to atone for. Kindness isn't born it's cultivated, sometimes out of love but more often out of guilt. He was good because he was a ferocious wolf. He relished in a bloody fight but he'd never attack in his human form. He made no such distinction when in the mode of predator to prey. No animal was spared when he was one himself.

We understood each other in that vulnerability. To be born with something you can't control but he had a pack whilst I had a decimated empty tent once inhabited by a group of lost fairies. He had family and friends that were like him whilst my only fairy relations showed up when I was far too old to appreciate the needed support. The only other telepath I had met scorned me.

Alcide was being buried beside his mother. She had died young of cancer, his father had never been the same. Riddling himself in debt and reaching out to Eric for help. The Herveaux's moved as solitary beings within their familial ties. Lone wolves was a ridiculously accurate description.

I didn't carry the same pain for his death as they did. I mourned the loss of my friend. I had loved him as such, that was truth. I played the dutiful distraught girlfriend, I could do that for him. I'd been acting all my life.

On paper we had the perfect credentials for the ultimate 'boy meets girl' story. A misunderstanding when we met. Attraction found when pretending to be a couple we were not. A drunken mishap. Our timing never quite right till it was. We fit the mould but it was a shallow one.

He had always made the first move seeking me out in the lowest points of my life. Not that it had been an intentional move, I simply had far too many low points in my life. He had broken with Debbie and demanded I do the same with the vampires haunting my heart. Alcide hadn't outright declared it but it was implied, he was always frugal with words.

At the time I told him I couldn't change who I loved. It implied he had never entered into that reserved space. I had tried.

"_Try harder_," had been his brusque reply.

With him I had tried. I had tried and I had failed. I couldn't change that with all the will in my mind and all the strength in my light. He was asking for something I couldn't give but I took his company regardless. Terry had just died.

Too many people had died. I didn't want to die alone when I had nearly met my eternal end at the hands of a psychopathic faepire. Bill and I were done that much was clear. When one of you calls the other an abomination and you stake him in retaliation there is no turning back from that. Our ties had permanently severed. _Fucking monster_.

That other tie that had bound me by blood had disappeared from my life. Not because I chased him away but because he understood I needed the distance to become myself once more. That girl that had stepped into his bar in a virginal white dress. The innocence robbed soon after. I needed to fight back to regain what was once mine. I would always be her to him but I knew, like him, I was better than that. Because I wanted to live. That innocence was lost.

I needed to let fairy Sookie speak for me because that would keep me safe. It was more than that, I needed to be her too. I had been on that night. It's why I stood breathing whilst clumps of earth fell on the polished wood of the casket. Alcide fought like a man. Not like a wolf.

It cost him both lives.

A swarm of Hep-V infected vampires had descended onto our town. They threatened to take what was mine. They died whilst I lived. My fighting light lit up the sky with the destruction of their threat. As strong as Alcide was he fought with too much good inside him. Worry for me instead of himself. Thankfully his death was swift and I could only shed a tear of relief when it was over.

The service was as simple as the man. The casket had remained firmly closed, whilst I had seen far too many bodies of the dead in varying states of decay, others didn't have to. There were rituals specific to the were that went unnoticed by the human eyes. I stood in the receiving line shaking their hands one by one, thought by thought.

The missus.

The one.

His Sookie.

I was never his. I had paid my debt to him. I had tried harder. I stayed because I took something from him as she had taken something from me. Death followed me around and I sought its company. I had punished myself enough. I would never be _his_ Debbie and I was ok with that. We were right beside each other but not with each other.

His belongings were already packed up, it was the first thing I did once I arrived home. There wasn't much; clothes, a cell phone charger and some toiletries. No pictures of us together. We never took one. No trinkets or gifts. The longest relationship of my life was condensed to a concentrate of nothingness.

His sister never liked Debbie but she liked me even less. To her I was indistinguishable from a common fangbanger. She thought I was using her brother. I probably was, he had been my emotional crutch. I couldn't trust anyone anymore. My parents had tried to kill me, Lafayette by proxy, Bill, Warlow and a string of others. I was bound to them by love but all it did was seem to get me killed.

Love for me had killed Alcide. He had always come running when I needed him but he had never placed his trust in me. Perhaps Debbie had used it all up. I trusted him, but not enough to place my own safety with his. I stood on my own that night.

My trust was requested once and I had given it then in the basement of a Dallas church. He had escorted me out safely, the only damage inflicted by silver on his skin. No harm had come to me. In his care I had felt safe like with no other.

It was Eric's jealousy that had me running into the arms of Alcide. Glamouring him to relinquish his pursuit of me. It was an outright dare for me to defy him. For all the intelligence Eric Northman possessed it seemed to run out the door when it concerned me. In all honesty the same applied to myself.

I had been reckless with Bill, unknowingly stepping into a field without sight of a destination. I was desperate with Warlow taking anything that offered me a sense of control of myself. Alcide had been a relationship that was initiated by my mind. It made sense, there was unfinished business there. Just like my introduction to the man it had always been shadowed by the presence of another. One who didn't protect me as payment or obligation instead he paid me. First with money then with affection but always with protection. Going six months without it made it clear.

Alcide was gone.

That only drove the point home. The loneliness I feared wasn't so scary anymore. He never truly held my heart so it didn't shatter to pieces. Only once had I spoken that I loved another with truth. It came from me and not from blood.

I knew he was still with us. I just didn't know where and I refused to give up.

Eric never did.

So neither would I.


	2. Chapter 2 - Jessica Hamby

Chapter 2- Jessica Hamby

"_Just because my fangs popped out doesn't mean I am going to use them on you." - Jessica Hamby s03e06_

**EPOV**

We certainly don't make for pretty corpses. Nasty piles of goo. I had acted on instinct, she was scented by Bill and I was weakened. Stake to the heart. Only when she was that close and the damage was already inflicted did I notice the assumed he was a she. The child not the maker.

She had been a pretty corpse, as much as we were in walking death. She had the pallor that suited a vampire offset by flaming red locks. Her appearance always spoke of promise and implied innocence. She was but a child, then and now. Experience had not dulled her outlook on the world yet.

Only Bill Compton would send a child to do his dirty work. An infant. In every sense of the word. She was emotionally stunted as a human and Bill was anything but an impressive parent. As soon as he made her he had dropped her in my lap. A place where she always wanted to take a seat but I always had to send the little Lolita away with a menacing growl.

While I take full credit for the magnificence that is Pam I would never attach my name to Jessica's. She was the victim of a creative magister. That wasn't unusual, most vampires were the victim of someone or the other. Not everyone was granted a choice like I was. Not everyone forced another's hand like Pam had.

Jessica was chaste in life as she was in death. Bill had done nothing to help her adjust, the porcelain princess was forced to carve her own way. She had been broken in life. Pam had recognised the scars of abuse for she had carried similar ones.

Her first act of disobedience, attending a party after dark, cost her the price of her mortal life. She had found freedom in that, especially when her maker relinquished her with such ease. Pam had always accused me of being a strict parent but to Jessica our rules were lax. Her dress sense was comical, like one of those tea cup humans allowed to dress for themselves.

She looked like the Queen of the Fangbangers as she strut around in Fangtasia. A title she let go to her head with its inaccuracy. Something she did more than once when her daddy was the King of Louisiana. She seemed to have inherited his partiality for the grandiose. Her inflated self-worth only carried her so far.

There were favours and then there were _favours. _Jessica was of the latter variety. More trouble than she was worth. I had indulged Bill as he was the keeper to Sookie's gate. I needed an in because I needed Sookie. It was a humbling experience that in my thousand years on this earth I sought out the help of a mere mortal. She was much more than that, of that I was sure, but I lacked the evidence to support the theories. Regardless my maker's need meant more to me than my humility.

Bill never returned favours in kind. This was abundantly clear when I found him browsing through the racks of Forever 21. It was a ridiculous place for a vampire to be. The name alone.

I had hoped Bill had come shopping for himself but alas the denim skirt in his hands would hardly fit on one of his saggy ass cheeks. He was buying young Jessica's affection. There was little of that between them at the time. Bill acted much like a human father instead of a maker. Playing house with Sookie as the new found mommy. Even in the days of the post Great Reveal it is a ridiculous notion. Forever is something mortals can only find in death.

Jessica was a forever something else. Virgin. Her maidenhood had transitioned with her intact. That fact alone had consolidated to me that Bill was a poor excuse of a maker. We scented such things in humans, he could have removed it with a flick of the wrist. A little glamour to keep her dignity. Instead he took a virgin to the grave damning her with unnecessary pain for eternity.

She should never have been turned. The best vampires were born for this existence, the rest were mistakes. Jessica was a mistake. An unfortunate consequence of circumstances. I stood at the initiation of those circumstances. For I was pursuing a telepath. It was only right that I got to kill her the second time.

It was probably for the best. She would have followed the path of Bill, guilt festering away at an eternal open wound. Or worse the path of Lorena. Her prospects had been bleak in the longer course of time. She was an unintended birth without a proper education. Bill had kept her human.

Remorse plagued her. Pam had been forced to clean up more than one of her messes. The sight of my child with mop in hand was a memory that Jessica had gifted me with. I will remain eternally thankful for that.

Bill released her rather than take control. Giving Jessica freedom brought her closer to him than physical bounds would. That was something that worked with humans not vampires. It was an attitude Bill should have exercised with Sookie. 'Love' had tainted his vision on that front.

The ability to love is a rare thing to reside in a vampire. We love ourselves, our maker above others. It takes a rare individual to override that line of command in our programming. I knew this because of Sookie. She had short-circuited me with her presence and care. Jessica knew this because of Hoyt.

"_He loves me so much it hurts to even think about it, but I don't love him the same. If I was human I would."_

She had resided on the other side. Accepted she was incapable of giving what he desired from her. She had tried to be human with him when she no longer was. It wasn't an even playing field between us and humans. We had a physical advantage where they find strength in emotions where we only find weakness. Perhaps it was only through the curse that stole my memories that I could love Sookie. We were no longer fang and fairy. We were Eric and Sookie and as small as our bubble was, as much as it was broken, it held something pure.

Jessica would never get to know that love. She came often to Fangtasia, seeking something, I was unsure what. Relive the days of her vampire youth perhaps. Her immaturity had somewhat progressed to confused. She didn't understand herself and her maker took little interest in helping her out with that. Objectively it seemed she took care of him far more often than the other way round. My relationship to Pam only allowed that after decades of trust. I had refused to let my child carry the burdens that belonged with me.

Jessica continued to lack control. As the Sheriff of the Area I came across that often enough. I should have reported Bill to the new magister for that. I feared a repeat of the same sentence would mean the arrival of Jessica 2.0, I didn't want that on my conscious too.

Surprisingly she had demonstrated backbone. Jessica learned where her master didn't teach. She pursued Jason Stackhouse not for love. Love was something she couldn't give, her human father had seen to that. He had instilled in her she wasn't worthy of it.

Her heart was however always in the right place for that I was certain. She protected Sookie without question. With her the suspicion of a telepath's self-defence from the jealous she-wolf was glamoured out of the investigator's mind. Perhaps her loyalty to Bill had motivated the action, I like to think it was for Sookie. That she inspired such devotion because Sookie found mine with such ease.

I have always valued loyalty, coming only second to survival. Jessica was loyal but lacked the skills to survive. Pam and I had taught her what she needed to know but not everything could be transcribed in such a lesson. That is why we were born to a maker's control.

Jessica's mistakes crippled her conscience but they had been allowed to occur as her maker let nature run its course rather than nurture the being he birthed. Pam had reached out a helping hand then. I often told my child I preferred her cold and heartless, it was because the moments her heart showed itself she was too generous with it. She would nurture too many if I allowed her to and for the preservation of that heart I taught her to shield. Herself and the world.

Jessica could have used a shield not so long ago. Bill could have at least afforded her a Kevlar vest from his retinue of human guards. She could recognise danger better than her maker could. His god-complex in particular. The lessons from her human life made her more perceptive than most especially considering her age. She did not succumb to the nest behaviour in the clutches of the Authority. Something not even my formidable sister was able to do. Bill turned into a disciple of Lilith and despite her maker being wholly undeserving of it she never gave up on him.

"_Please bring him back to me. I need him. We all need him."_

Sookie and I had ran where she had stayed behind. Had it been Godric and I in their place I cannot say for certain I would have had the same perseverance. I would have died by his side if he would have let me but not if I no longer recognised the man who raised me. Godric had been different in the end but I still saw him as he always was. Bill was a shadow of his former self or perhaps it was who he was at his core. Deception was a gift he carried alongside his strong glamour and manipulation of voices. I would not have gambled with my existence for a memory of someone as Jessica had.

She gave her protection even if it wasn't wanted. Her decency reminded me of the honour valued in my human days. She blamed her inability to contain her urges on herself rather than her nature. Another lesson her maker had failed to teach her. It made her a better vampire than he.

Jessica wasn't meant to survive the night in the junk yard. Intended to be a punishment she was most likely the best thing that happened to Bill Compton. Had he simply confessed in that moment he was protecting an asset of the queen no harm would have come upon him. It was why I had dragged him to that desolate spot in the first place. A vampire from the queen's court wasn't coming to retire in a hovel, he had a career to make not one to finish.

Sookie had not been the only victim to Sophie Anne's procurement. Jessica was a casualty of manoeuvres, as much innocence in this world is. I had never seen her angry about it like Sookie was. Perhaps her bond to her maker told her more about him than he ever cared to show Sookie.

Now he had sent Jessica to finish me off. It showed the lack of foresight her maker possesed. I had scented the fresh wood of her stake before she even entered my reclusive cave. Now that I tasted the blood splattered into my mouth I knew her maker had fed her his blood. A weak attempt to grant her extra strength. There was no doubt in my mind Bill wanted me dead. His last effort had been equally inept if one disregarded Pam's tirade at the discovery of it. Cement got _everywhere_, it wasn't a memory I enjoyed to relive.

182 nights.

I had kept track mentally of the sun rising and setting while I slowly healed. I would have to move on despite my injured state. Bill would be here soon to retrieve the remnants of the only thing good that ever came from him. I had hoped to wait for a better state of my body to leave but Jessica had found me with apparent ease. Perhaps it was through the communal consumption of Warlow's blood that we were all connected somehow.

Pam had yet to find me but I had experience in blocking her from me. We needed distance. Perhaps it was just me. I had lost too many people in too short of a succession. Godric. Sookie. Nora.

Pam was loyal enough to wait me out. I could always continue to count on that.

Sookie had returned after a year but I couldn't bear to stand witness to losing her again. Not after everything that transcended between us. I don't think I could be there with her inevitable death, she was too careless with her life.

_If you love someone set them free._

I was sure a vampire was the source of that particular wisdom. Our lack of impending death made us relinquish much. I had done so for Sookie. For her not for me. Had she not overridden my inability to love I don't think I could ever be this considerate.

_If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were._

That was the adage I was sure humanity supplemented to the original. Vampires never held such high hopes for themselves. Possession was taken not gifted.

Bill Compton had set Jessica Hamby free but it wasn't out of love. She had returned to him regardless. In this Jessica had learned to love something outside of herself. Bill hadn't cared for her tender heart in the spirit in which she shared it with him.

As I reached the mouth of the cave that had been my refuge from my sudden lack of SPF I opened my bond to Pam once more. Jessica had taught me a lesson tonight. I could run from Sookie but not the responsibility of my other child, she wasn't unlike Jessica. An innocent robbed out of the world of the living, born out of punishment to another. Willa wasn't meant to be a vampire either but Jessica had proven to me she was a better one for it. I needed to be a better maker to Willa in memory of that. I vowed never to be like Bill.

I stumbled down the mountain finding a clear creek where I washed the blood of my hands and body. When I turned around I wasn't surprised in the least to find Pam. Outstretched towel in her arms and a change of clothes by her feet. A read tear slipped from her eye at the sight of me. I couldn't help but remember my swim in the sun where another blonde had stood with affection ready to take me into safety.

"Asshole," she muttered as she took me into her cool embrace.

"Sorry," was my meagre response and apparently it was enough for her. I informed her of Jessica's untimely demise and had Pam not spent her allowance of one tear on me I was sure it would have fallen for her memory.

"Home?" she asked lifting my considerable weight in her tiny frame.

"Home," I responded. Wherever that may be now.

My nostrils were assaulted by the fresh air. The stars sped by me in a blur. I trusted Pam as she had always trust in me. She had come back to me because she loved me and I loved her for it. She was mine as I was hers. Father to daughter.

We had arrived to what Pam affectionately referred to as my windy shithole. She had redecorated it with vengeance in mind. It was all pink.

It reminded me of the eternal teenager that had died. Such an elaborate act of defiance fit her age bracket better than Pam's. It was a nice unintended tribute and I would continue to honour her memory in the raising of my other child. That would be Jessica's lesson to me.

I owed her that much. After all her final death at my hands had been her last lesson. Never love what you truly can't keep. And Bill, he never played for keeps.

**A/N: Remember the next banner is up on my blog. So if you're curious to see who is up next week head on over. Links are in my profile or navigate from hisviks dot wordpress dot com to the **_**It's Already Gone**_** page.**


	3. Chapter 3 - Sam Merlotte

Chapter 3 – Sam Merlotte

"_I got nobody." – Sam Merlotte s03e11_

**SPOV**

It's the height of summer but it might as well be fall. That is the state of my mind and the weather pelting down. Another day, another grave. I only just arrived back from Jackson to hear the news.

Sam. My friend. Former boss. Recipient of a kiss or two.

I wasn't the only one that lost someone _that_ night. His future wife and unborn child had been one of the first casualties of the sudden attack. I had attended their funeral before moving on to Alcide's. Sam had been downcast then, as could be expected.

Their romance was quick, they came from different worlds. She was still so young whilst the grey in his hair was creeping in by the sides. Yet they fit. Unexpected but rightly so.

I wondered if all instant loves like theirs held such a short expiration date. My intense affair with Eric had lasted mere days, barely a week and I had fallen deep. Deeper than ever before. He then brought me to great heights. It was a rollercoaster that never seemed to end till it suddenly did. Sam and Nicole had a few months more than that. It wasn't enough for Sam.

Holly was the one who found his lifeless body. She came to bring him some healing tea but instead she found him with his brains shot out. That spoke to me of his devotion to her, however tragic it may be. He had lost other girlfriends to death before but the grief had never run this deep.

He had managed to shut me out of his mind during the funeral, I don't know how but it seemed through sheer determination. I should have known something was up then. He didn't even offer to come along to Alcide's funeral. That wasn't like Sam. He didn't like werewolves but he had liked Alcide.

I had taken his blocking me out as an act of kindness then, now I understood. He didn't want to be stopped and I was the only one that could. I had always been the one Sam could be honest with because he had no choice in that. I think that was what his initial attraction to me had been based on. With me he could be himself and he anticipated I would accept him because I was different too.

Except it made mad as hell. I had told him of my telepathy in a matter of hours of meeting him. He was my boss, the town talked so he deserved to know. He didn't tell me his secret until I found him naked as the day he was born at the bottom of my bed.

It had taken me a while to forgive him the secrecy, yet I accepted his state of otherness instantly. It was a sad realisation that it was something he could hardly afford for himself. He had been used and deceived too often to trust in that inside of himself. He was a cautious man because love had betrayed him more than once. It had forced him to greet those that wronged him with the end of a gun.

Sam had waited to shoot himself until the moment I would be returning to Bon Temps. Sam Merlotte was thoughtful like that, even in his death. I wish he was still here so I could kick his ass for it. Sam didn't want to settle like I did, perhaps it was the example of the half-life that I had been living these past few months that made him finally pull the trigger.

I often found my mind going to thoughts of Eric's disappearance but with Sam's sudden death even more so. His suicide made me remember that moment on a rooftop in Dallas. Eric had been prepared to go with Godric then. I didn't understand the words spoken in an ancient tongue but I had understood that much. Eric claimed to know nothing about love but to me that proved he knew more than me.

Eric didn't want to lose his maker but Godric didn't want to stay. His motivation for making things right by leaving this world never satisfied my understanding. I think he was just tired of feeling the way he did. He needed to feel something else after two thousand years.

"_I want to burn."_

Godric needed to punctuate his sentence on his eternal life. His death was the most beautiful I had ever seen. I shed tears for the loss of him but also of the beauty that it evoked. He found peace. He had found solace in my words, joy in my tears.

"_God forgives."_

I wish Sam would have waited. Like with Godric I would have supported him if that was what he really wanted. I could understand the loss that had crippled him. Sam died alone because he felt utterly alone. Even my presence was no longer enough to keep him here, just like Eric wasn't enough to keep his maker.

Perhaps Sam would have accepted my aid had he known of Godric. I never shared anything about his death with anyone but Eric. Bill didn't want to hear about it at the time and Sam was constantly wishing Buffy or Blade would come to town to stake any vampire by my side.

Pettiness was never an attractive quality in a man. Though with Sam I knew that despite hateful words he spoke to me they had always come from a heartfelt place. When it mattered, Sam set aside his prejudices and worked together with his natural enemies for the greater good. He cared more for this town than those that were born in it. His dislike of vampires, however, never seemed to diminish.

Bill had refused to help Sam, Luna and her child to safety in the confines of the Authority. Their own attempt to escape ended Luna's life, leaving Emma orphaned behind. It surprised me that Sam had started working alongside Bill these past few months in his new role as mayor. I thought it pragmatism in these scary times but perhaps there had been more to it.

I started to make sense of that when I returned home from the short walk from the cemetery. A thick envelope sat in my mailbox. I recognised the handwriting instantly. The note inside brought me to tears.

_Don't love someone that can't be loved. Seek out something real._

_-Sam_

I had to move the card from my hands in fear that the droplets of moisture would stain the perfect penmanship. Only when my cries had ceased did I look at the stack of papers. It was pages upon pages of names and dates. I didn't recognise any of them till I came near the end of the list.

_Long Shadow_

_Jessica Hamby_

_Nan Flanagan_

_Governor Burrell_

The implication was clear. This was Bill's kill list and it only seemed to contain the names of the people he had physically killed himself not the ones who had died because of his actions. That list would probably take decades to compile now. This had been the case Sam was building, I was holding Buffy/Blade in my hands.

My relations with vampires had always been a point of contention between Sam and I. There was little in the supernatural world that he liked. It was no surprise considering how he was raised and abandoned by the world at large. His first source of comfort was a maenad. It was a miracle that Sam had turned out to be such a good guy despite his turbulent past. He was no saint but I was an equal sinner, I knew we were both good where it mattered.

He welcomed long lost family that abused his kindness. Took in his brother despite their difficult beginnings. I had been the only one to attend that funeral for Sam. We were there for each other in times of need and I was sad I hadn't been there for him now. And he would no longer be there for me.

I grabbed a pen and to the neatly typed list I added two more names.

_Luna Garza_

_Sam Merlotte _

Bill may as well have pulled the trigger. The blood was on his hands as far as I was concerned. Lafayette had once called me the angel of death. People seemed to be dying around me all the time. Sadly the same could be said for Sam. Every woman he had been with had died. Tara, Daphne, Luna and now Nicole. The family he only found later in life died in rapid succession of each other. It seemed as if everything Sam allowed himself to love was greeted with death.

The only one who had returned from that death seemed to be knocking on my door. Tara had fervidly held on to her grudge against me for months. Her cool distance hurt and had driven me further into Alcide's arms. Her presence at my door let me know that we would continue to be there for each other in times like these. She had two tubs of slightly defrosted ice cream in her hands. One for me and one blood flavoured for her. Melty. Just the way we like it.

She wordlessly followed me in as I set up the TV for the evening's entertainment. She grabbed the spoons and the blankets though she no longer needed one for warmth.

"Fucking Sam," Tara said speaking for the first time that night. "Selfish asshole."

"We're not all as strong as you," I reminded her. Tara had lived through hell and back before the age of ten. I knew no one with her resilience, not even ancient vampires, even if she did threaten to throw in the towel in moments of weakness.

"I wanted to die again when I realised what I had become," she returned to me, the disapproval of my actions still clear in her hostile tone.

"I'm sorry." It was all I could offer her. I would never be able to make that right with her. My kill list wasn't as impressive as Bill's but Tara's name was right up there. My guilt over it would never abate.

"Thank Pam," she shrugged. "She commanded me not to. It's the only reason why I'm still alive. Sort of." In more ways than one it seemed. Tara didn't allow the name of her maker to drop regularly in the same way I was equally silent with Eric's name.

"You still miss her?" I asked carefully when she still had a spoonful of blood flavoured gelato in her mouth.

"Yeah," she acknowledged with a roll of her eyes. "Lucky me. Two terrible moms."

"I miss Eric," I admitted for the first time aloud.

"I'm gonna miss Sam," Tara said as a red tear slipped from her eye.

"Me too." We sat silently looking at the TV screen but neither one of us seemed to be taking in what was said. Our minds were concerned with the loss of life and the quick succession of people disappearing from our lives.

"He must have really loved that Curlicue," Tara spoke breaking our silence. Nicole wasn't that different from Tara. She held a passion for righteousness above all else. Tara possessed more realism than her, perhaps, that was why she was still alive and Nicole wasn't. She saw more good in people than I ever did.

Where I saw the Hep-V infected vampires for what they were she believed they could be restored. She had been petitioning with activist friends for months to push the government to research a cure. The standard protocol had remained 'kill on sight' despite her many efforts.

I thought that was the reason Sam had entered into politics himself. He saw how ineffectual Nicole was and Sam was the type of guy who would do anything to make her happy. Even if it was curing the detested species.

Nicole once shared with me that Sam was her knight in shining armour. He had rescued her and driven her away on horseback except in their fairy tale version he was the horse and she sat astride him. It was a beautiful image in her mind.

I had assumed they were together because of the unplanned pregnancy but to them it was a welcoming gift that forced the depths of their feelings out into the open. Sam would have been a good dad, he always had been to Emma and it never mattered that she wasn't his blood. His heart was wide open for those he let in, perhaps to a fault.

"Did you two ever come close to that?" I wondered aloud of the affection that had existed between Tara and Sam considering what he had carried for Nicole. They had snuck around behind my back forgetting that no one ever held secrets from a telepath.

"I didn't deal with the dog business very well," she answered whilst scratching her neck. It was as if the thought of Sam's other form made her check herself for fleas. "Ironic since I'm a vampire now."

"I was ok with that," I responded as I turned my gaze back to hers. "Just not the keeping it from me."

"Ditto," Tara agreed as she tossed her spoon in the empty carton and settled herself further into the comfort of the blanket. We were sitting face to face now, the movie completely forgotten to our attentions.

"Think things would have worked out between the two of you?" I asked wondering if there was anything left unsettled between them. "If things were different? If we were all human?"

"We were never meant to be a matching set," Tara replied. "You and Sam? In another world?"

"No," I said shaking my head. Sam had always been my plan b or rather plan z. The last resort. When Warlow manipulated me into becoming his eternal faepire bride I had reached out to Sam in desperation. I could have rid myself of my magic and been normal with him but it was never meant to be. He was head over heels in love with Nicole by then. His initial interest in me was completely lost.

"If we ever stood a chance, it was before Bill came to town. If it didn't happen then why would it ever come about at another time?"

"A lot of people have started dying ever since that asshat moved to town," Tara said derisively. If only she knew, the volume of entries Sam had charted was damning. Most likely it was just a scratch at the surface of a completed list. I refrained from commenting, there was nothing left in me to defend my first love.

Before I could conjure up a reply Tara had sped out of my home without a hint of a goodbye. I sensed trouble but not in the swarm of Hep-V vampires kind. I grabbed a stake and a can of colloidal silver from the table by the door and ran across the cemetery after Tara.

I was running to trouble once more and I couldn't help but stop by Sam's grave right beside the one of his love and unborn child. Sam would have told me to stay put and out of harm's way. It's why Sam and I would never have worked, I was too stubborn to listen and he was always too impatient to explain.

Tonight for once I headed to Sam's eternal warnings, if only for a bit. I stayed behind for Tara to duke out with whatever danger had come. I sat waiting by the set of fresh graves fondling the soft textures of the flower petals. He was loved, he would be missed.

My friend, my boss, a man I once kissed.

I pecked the temporary marker of his grave as my final gesture of goodbye. "Sorry Sam," I whispered to the chilling winds. I continued on my way to the opposite direction of my home following the path of trouble Tara had set towards. I had tried to listen to Sam when he was alive but he couldn't even compel me to adhere from beyond the grave.

We worked as friends, nothing more. And he was a damn good friend. Loyal to the core.

Good dog.

* * *

**A/N: I may have read a little bit too much into the Sam/Nicole romance last season but I felt the man deserved something real considering his extreme bad luck with women. Next week's banner is up on my blog and I think it will be a welcome sight to you all for a change. So if you're curious to see who is up next head on over. Links are in my profile page or navigate from hisviks dot wordpress dot com to the **_**It's Already Gone**_** page.**

******For those of you who have found my stories through my winning entry for Sephrenia's writing challenge, _In Memorium_ and _Memento Mori_, I am happy to announce it has found a continuing story. I will start posting it from Tuesdays onwards under the title _From Time Immemorial. _**


	4. Chapter 4 - Bill Compton

Chapter 4 – Bill Compton

'_Oh I love a good execution.' – William T. Compton s05e06_

**PPOV**

Nasty fucker couldn't even die cleanly. I'm seriously beginning to rethink my stance on pink. Eric and his pragmatic black is finally starting to make sense to me now. Ick. Vampire goo. Vampire Bill goo.

I had unfinished business with Bill even before I was turned. I'd happily have staked him in my human form but I knew I was powerless then. It's why I chose death with Eric or an end at my own hands, I never wanted to feel like that again. Powerless. It was a situation Bill exploited every chance he got because that's what he was. An opportunist. The sad excuse of a vampire ran with the alternating currents of the wind more often than one could count. Even I couldn't keep track with my impeccable vault.

The threat on my maker's life was the last straw. I would have staked the bastard upon sighting him that first night he appeared in my club. No he was dangling vampire catnip on his seedy paws so Eric said no. He's being saying 'no' to me a lot since that particular piece of shitshine entered into our lives.

With the sticky substance of his inferior blood on me, it's definitely not the first time I regret foregoing my demand for Eric to kill him when he first had the chance in my brothel all those years ago. 500 dollars a whore seems an insignificant reparation now, considering the way Bill Compton has been fucking with my life. As much as Bill Compton thought himself evolved, the only change I ever saw in him was the amount of blood he consumed.

Blood. It always seems to come down to that with us creatures of the night. I can't believe I had to drink his. My stomach still curdles with the memory of it. Fuck the sun, I've never missed it in my newly found existence. Another thing I won't miss is the horrid mess of the Civil War vet that seems to have crept on every bare expanse of my magnificent body.

The picture of Southern Living Sookie hands me a damp rag. Ms Fairy Vagina apparently has grown some balls in my absence. After I was momentarily distracted by my needy progeny I lost my upper hand. Bill may have been elder to me by a few decades but I held the blood from Godric's line. He never stood a chance. Until Tara came along. Bitch is far too chipper for a vamp. Tackling me down in excitement as if we're playing football.

_Mommy and me time is later little Tara Mae, mommy's fighting right now._ Listening was obviously not her strong suit.

So for the first time in my existence I was happy to see Sookie Fucking Stackhouse. She threw me a replacement stake. It's a pity Tara used the fairy's colloidal silver spray on Bill's constipated façade because the expression on his face was priceless. Thank Godric for my vault. I'll have to draw Eric a picture as my get well soon card.

The idiot thought Sookie was here to safe him with her puny stake. Then she had tossed it to me squeezed her eyes shut and said, "Goodbye Bill." That was almost better than ramming the stake through his chest. This high was better than any I had experienced in my life and I contemplated fucking Tara in his remnants. It would be a suitable homage but a man of no honour deserves no memorial.

I'm not an indiscriminate killer, Eric never cultivated that in me like Lorena had with Bill. Yes it is our nature to kill, feed and fuck but not in that order and not all boxes need to be ticked. There is no secret in dying but there is an art to surviving. Continued existence above all else, a lesson Lorena surely forgot considering her pathetic demise. The woman had no idea how annoying it is to rid yourself of bodies all the time. Of course she left the clean-ups to people like me. Bitch.

Eric always accused me of not wanting to get my hands dirty. The dirt of Bill Compton lingering under my perfectly manicured finger nails did sort of prove his point. Maybe I am as lazy as my maker thinks. I just never saw the point, too much work. Yet when it comes to those I love I become a killing machine, it's the only redeeming quality I have found in Sookie. Impressive for a human. Or hybrid fuck.

I soon found myself sporting another set of Walmart sweats. I really don't know what Eric thinks is so magical about Sookie's shower, the water pressure is fuck awful. Our annoying hostess is pushing me a bottle of True Blood and at my sceptic look she assures me it is Hep-V free. Like I give a shit it's going to remain sitting there untouched. If it wasn't for my maker I'd be draining her dry right now. It is only through the annoying jab at my ribs from Tara that I reluctantly accept. Baby girl is stronger than she looks.

As I study the circular design of Sookie's wallpaper I'm reminded that patterns are cyclical in time. I've been alive long enough to stand witness to that. Bill came from an infected line. I was yet to receive a parent of the year prize with Tara but I would outshine Bill and Lorena on any given day. Or rather night. Bad maker equals bad child.

I'll kill you if you tell anyone this but I liked Jessica. She had promise despite her despicable blood line, probably because they never bothered to raise her. I had stood witness to her birth. I didn't care that he turned an 'innocent' human. No one is truly innocent in this world. Any vampire should be grateful to be released from the confines of humanity. Jessica was worthy to our ranks she stood strong among the Sanguinistas where her maker faltered. She knew how to survive, it's a shame her unquestioned loyalty to him got her killed in the end. Jessica would have continued to live had he been able to harbour the same amount of devotion to her.

Redemption is a human affair. We are what we are and the sooner we accept that the better of we will be. Bill never wanted to be turned and carried the resentment through the rest of his undead life. Tara managed to move on from that surly phase in weeks. Nothing like impending death to set you straight. I should be thankful for Bill and his blood, busting us out of Vamp Camp but he was the whole reason we were there. Selfless act lost.

Bill never could handle power well. He'd always been vying for it, Sookie was merely an instrument for a promotion. Fealty was granted to Russell Edgington as soon as a position of Sheriff opened up. Despite his proclamations of love apparently his loyalty was never there for Sookie's friends. Tara told me how he had refused to help her when she was abducted by that fuckwit Franklin Mott. First meeting Bill Compton and then Franklin Mott no wonder my progeny hated all things fangy. Speaking of fangs mine are itching to stake the bastard all over again for my Tara. Couture be damned.

Bill never seemed to get the message. Everyone else was to blame for the misfortune of his life. His countrymen that demanded a war, Lorena, Sophie Anne, Eric, Lilith, Governor Burrell. Yes Bill, you were that special, your own choices had no consequences. At my eye roll the two others in the room give me a strange look.

"Bill's book," I give as a reasonable explanation. It was prominently sitting on the coffee table in front of me. I'm surprised I'm not the only one trying to kill him tonight on account of that god awful drivel he calls prose.

_And God Bled. _Didn't anyone ever tell needle dick never to start a sentence with a conjunction. Even Ginger could have come up with a better title than _that_.

"Pam," the annoying gash tentatively asks me. I put on my happy face in response, or my angry one take your pick. "erm…"

Here it comes, now I am going to have to listen to Sookie ask after Eric. As if the last 24 hours of my existence haven't been filled up with the counter version. I thought once they'd both get a good fuck out of it they could move on. A fairy and vampire have no business being together as far as I'm concerned.

"Eric is fine," I supply but I keep the '_no thanks to you_' to myself. Being 'nice' to Sookie was Eric's condition for Bill's death at my hands. It was my kill to make, he aggrieved me first and as far as I was concerned there was no statute of limitation among vampires. My maker was number three in line after Sookie. Despite my release I will continue to defer to him, he'll always be my master first. I only found it fitting that public enemy number one was killed with the stake from number two on behalf of number three by yours truly. It goes without saying that I'm number one.

Whilst I didn't give Bill more thought than his status as pond scum, Sookie did have a compelling case as plaintiff number two. I grew up as a woman in a different era and Bill seemed to be stuck there. Moving women around like commodities. Possessions. Even I treated my whores better than he did. Circumstances may have brought them knocking on my door for employment but they were there by choice. Even if it was their last one.

The only decent thing he ever did was releasing Eric and I when we were being plagued by that bitch Marnie. He probably only did that because as the fatalist that he was he assumed we'd all be dead soon anyway. For all his words of love and sacrifice he had yet to prove that with Sookie. He killed that minge Nan Flanagan but only under Eric's directive and to save his own ass. Any credit earned there was immediately lost when he decided he was the chosen one. Delusional fucktard.

My human father taught me to judge a man by the company he keeps. It's why I never got married or got stuck with those teacup sized things. I never met company that I was willing to keep. Eric was a man of his own, therefore he was the only one I ever liked. Of course he kept _me_ around as company so that gives you an indication of his worth.

Bill was a nester. Not the fluffy I'm having a baby kind, no the representative of the worst of our kind. Nests are like incestuous relationships, nothing good comes of it. I've witnessed that often enough in the human gene pool that inhabits these backwater dumps. The only way Eric and I can stand to be in such close proximity to each other is by living separate lives together. Bill always sought safety in the crowd rather than stand on his own. His crown was sponsored by the AVL, his demi-god status by Eric's lack of interest.

Bill traded his precious 'humanity' for a vial of tainted blood. Honestly I don't think it was ever there. We are what we are and the sooner you accept it the better of you'll be. Tara is the same bitch she ever was, well maybe she's a bit more of a surly bitch now.

Eric and I both knew Long Shadow was the one stealing from our coffers. Sookie was there to simply prove her skill, why else would Eric agree to hand over the human perpetrator to the police. He knew exactly what he was giving away. Knowing Eric he probably calculated Bill's murder of the Native American and the trip to the magister into one brilliant strategy. Bill may have been a sought after procurer but no one knows how to secure an asset quite like my maker even if it does seem to take him forever. A few days with the dumbed down version and Sookie is still itching to get her snatch back to him. Well I've been there, so I understand the sentiment. He does pull good string.

I had been all too happy to escort Bill to the magister. I knew the sadistic fuck would treat Bill like he deserved for killing Long Shadow. Eric and I standing idle was a calculated choice, like I said I don't like getting my hands dirty. Eric was enamoured by a sparkly vagina, speaking of which the dumbfounded look was yet to leave her face. Or maybe it's curiosity? I forget sometimes. Ugh, humans.

"The bastard was hiding out in a cave after being caught out in the full sun," I supplement to my original informing of Eric's health. I was still pissed at him for shutting me out through the bond. I had lacked Jessica's ingenuity of tracing him through the shared blood of Warlow. Sookie's 'whatever' face seems to turn to concern. "He's recovering now."

Despite the lovely smell of Sookie's tears I fucking hate the sight of them. Not because I care for her or understand the sentiment. They're just messy. One look of annoyance to my progeny and she is on them. I am informed these are happy tears. They look the same to me.

"Will he be ok?" the little morsel asks between gasps of breaths. Gross, now there was stuff coming out of her nose. As if the smell of lingering were isn't enough to offend my sensitive nostrils. Fuck they really care for each other, or maybe even more than that. Eric likes me cold and heartless and I like him just the same. Sookie however brings squishy feelings out in him and now even Tara is feeling them. Yuck.

"Yes," I concede, _after we have some daddy and me time._ Cold hearted bastard owes me big for hiding out from me. From _me!_ Just because I know Sookie is scared of my so called 'lesbian weirdness' I leer at her, "a steady diet of blood and he'll be back to his usual self."

Her angry face is definitely not her happy face. Nothing sweet about those red cheeks.

"I want to see him!" she demands. Yeah so does everyone else. Get in line, you'll always be number two to my number one. I was here first after all.

I blink unnecessarily. I do that a lot around Sookie, it's like her mission in life to annoy me. I swear it's all her. "Good luck with that sugar lumps," I drawl with my private glee. "He's in Sweden. Unless you can magically fly there's no bypassing the quarantine."

Whether human or vampire nothing was leaving the Southern states as long as those Hep-V minions were still walking and somewhat talking. Which meant Bill actually put quite an effort into smuggling young Jessica out. I'd be impressed if human security wasn't so appallingly inept.

"I can teleport," fairy bitch announced with a healthy dose of pride.

Well colour me surprised. I'll have to check the mirror how that looks on me. Bitch finally has some useful skills. Never understood what my maker found so interesting about a telepath, yes she was a handy little canary in our coal mine when she warned us of the impending raid. Aside from that we can glamour anything out of anyone for fuck's sake I had yet to see her unique selling point.

I eyed miss prissy sceptically and I couldn't help but taunt, "Have you ever been that far? To a place you have never been to?" Apparently Tara was pissed at me now, stupid bond. Great more love for me.

"No," she said deflated. "I've been worried where he was for months. When Tara told me what happened when the protection from the sun was lost with Warlow's death I feared…" _he was dead._ I had feared the exact same.

Fuck Sookie Stackhouse and her tears now she set me off. Thankfully my preternatural speed has the tear swept away before anyone can notice. I sigh with vexation at her display.

"It's early morning there," I start as her glistening eyes look at me with a sliver of hope. I'm losing track of these happy and sad tears. "I promised to give him a call once I was through with badger Bill."

We're in blubber territory now. Thank god cosmetics have moved on from that phase. I leave the little wailing whale to privately converse with my precious progeny. I admire the craftsmanship of Eric's work on the restored porch as the phone continues to ring. When he answers I gloat and I preen. Eric is suitably proud. Unsurprising of course we both knew the outcome of this fight. He however ruins my buzz for asking after Sookie. I throw him a bone by informing him of the fairy and her stake in the eve's events. I can feel him waggling his tail through our diminished bond in appreciation.

I thrust the phone at Sookie in exasperation. Tara is looking suitably petulant at me when I return. She really does seem to be vying for her face to be next to the definition of cantankerous in the dictionary. I sit down on the ridiculously floral sofa and kiss the shit out of her. She really is quite fun when she shuts her mouth and opens up to mine.

"I'm wearing a white dress again," I overhear the resident fairy princess say in the 'privacy' of her bedroom. Little liar she's wearing shorts and a threadbare tee. Nothing white on her body except the lie.

"Eric Northman! You don't tell a lady you're naked over the phone!" Hilarious, Sookie thinks she's a Lady. I'm the only one here with any rights to that title and I'm the one stripping my progeny of her underwear. On the positive Eric seems to be recovering quicker than I thought if he is back to his perverted self. His man meat was looking decidedly crispy when I last left him.

"I thought it was me. That everyone around me was doomed for death. It was Bill. It was always Bill."

I wonder when she finally managed to get her ass out of that asshole. My beady eyes catch sight of a stack of papers, putting the pages of Bill's book to shame, as Tara's are rolling into the back of her skull. Bill's kill list. I suggested handing that over to the telepathic barmaid as soon as we met her, but no Eric refused to listen. He enjoys conquests more than victories. The persistent fool.

It's victories over conquests to me. I love a good ending.

**A/N: I swear I tried to be somewhat fair to Bill's memory but I found nothing redeem worthy aside from letting Eric and Pam go during Witchfest2000. For my own sanity I'm just going to deny I'm anything like Pam even though I enjoyed being in her mind a little too much... Next week's banner is up****on the blog, direct link is in my profile or navigate to the It's Already Gone page on hisviks dot wordpress dot com**

**For those of you who have found my stories through my winning entry for Sephrenia's writing challenge, **_**In Memorium**_** and **_**Memento Mori,**_** it has found a continuing multi chapter story the first two chapters are already up it's called**_**From Time Immemorial. **_


	5. Chapter 5 - Lafayette Reynolds

Chapter 5 - Lafayette Reynolds

"_Let's go, Ru Paul"_ – Eric Northman s03e04

**EPOV**

I was expecting a phone call from Pam but got Sookie instead. Not that it wasn't an unpleasant surprise but what she told me was. Her friend Lafayette had been possessed by another spirit and this time the outcome had been fatal. I was vaguely aware that the self-proclaimed capitalist had developed some supernatural talents of his own. It was connected to my own stint with witches so they were thoughts I didn't dwell on often.

I first noticed the fry cook when we came to collect Bill Compton for his night of judgment with the magister. For a flamboyantly gay and black man in rural Louisiana he knew how to keep his head down surprisingly well despite his ever changing colourful outfits. Too bad for him I could smell the guilt all over him. He was a dealer and recreational user. I had no issue with the recreational use. It was that which filled my club night upon night past its legal capacity.

Everyone wanted a taste of us, I rather they do it in my house. The blood is sacred but when we share it is given freely with intent. I don't judge what other vampires do with their blood, I've been dealing around mine more often than Godric would most likely have approved of. I don't regret dispensing a single drop.

It was why I had freed Lafayette in the end. He had managed what little others had, he found a tap that was willing to share. That is a rare feat. He was nothing like the drainers or murderers of our kind that filled my dungeon to the brim. A deal with a certain hot tempered little blonde may or may not have had something to do with it.

He was a useful asset to have, my fear that Godric had been taken by drainers was alleviated with Lafayette's intel that no blood of that age was being dealt from anywhere near the Dallas area.

Lafayette was a good salesman he had demonstrated that when he begged for his life. His pitch to become a child of mine was intriguing and it made me see beyond the appearance of just another blood bag.

_"Oh, don't get it twisted honey cone. I'm a survivor first, capitalist second and a whole bunch of shit after that. But a hooker, dead last! So if I've got even a Jew at an Al Qaida pep rally's shot at getting my black ass up out of this motherfucker, I'm taking it!"_

The definition of a hustler through and through. Granted he wouldn't have stood a chance of surviving a winter in my days but he knew how to survive in the 21st century. He fully acknowledged he was a person of poor moral character. It wasn't many who would freely admit to that.

For one Lafayette wasn't afraid to inform others of just that fact. He didn't take hypocrisy lying down, his convictions were never compromised. Subtle or overt he let his distaste with society know in whatever form it would take it.

He was strong for a human and could stand his own when he needed to but it was more a persona to protect his dealings than a violent streak in his personality. From what my blood inside him told me he was a gentle heart. Cared more than he would ever show, that should have told me he would make a good child. Although Lafayette thought being a good dancer made him the best candidate. _That_ had given me doubt. Case in point, Pam moves like a disjointed stick.

I knew some of what it meant to be discriminated but it only came when I was over a thousand years old. I am tall, white, blond and blue eyed. Don't forget devastatingly handsome. My little public service announcement for the AVL even got some 'likes' from staunch anti-vampire types. Yes, I'm even irresistible to them. Or it may have been that they prefer me over a politician, humans seem a little odd on the political front these days. Seeing that Bill Compton was the former mouth piece of the Louisiana vampires to the rest of the world I really shouldn't be surprised.

Lafayette wasn't blessed with the ease of life afforded to me. He was discriminated on all accounts, every strike was against him from birth. Yet he built an empire that made him invaluable in that backwards town. They never respected him for it but they all stood in line to take his medicine. Apparently his cooking was quite good too.

"_Way to a man's heart is through his stomach. That shit true as gold. You put some love in your food and folk can taste it."_

I could taste something different in him too, when we had our 'chow' time. I had done it to assert control over the begging fool. He didn't cower away, perhaps he thought I would really turn him. Regardless he knew how to adapt, perhaps it was all he ever knew without solid ground to ever stand upon. I was vaguely becoming aware of just that when Sookie entered my bar suffering the inscription of a maenad's claw on her beautiful back. Lafayette was given his freedom with her discovery but I vowed to keep him close.

Sophie Anne had me dispensing V like it was water. I knew just the vendor who could sell snow to the Eskimos. He was my contingency plan as I bartered and struck deals to rid the state of the infestation of my formerly respected Queen. Her greed got her killed in the end, if Nan Flanagan and her goons had not finished her off before me, her blood would have decorated my hands. Apparently that piece of intelligence directed my sister's way had been the reason Bill Compton sat with a crown upon his head. I knew I should have kept it to myself and from that betrayal I should have known Nora had strayed from Godric's teachings. Sophie Anne's death belonged to me, Sookie is _mine,_ or at least _my_ asset at the time.

Lafayette could move volume like no other. I told him he was my top salesman and in the suitable American tradition I gifted him with an expensive car. I had contemplated an extravagant time piece but Pam advised me it would be an assault to her discerning eyes if the man bedazzled himself any more.

He didn't know he was my only salesperson, I didn't take unnecessary risks like that. I could make him compliant with the blood I held of mine inside, but I found that I wanted him loyal to me out of choice. A healthy dose of fear came along with that. It was a simple system one uses to train a dog. Punish bad behaviour and reward the good. I noticed Lafayette had only ever known the first part of that simple logic. I now doubted anyone had ever been good to him.

I may have caused more trauma then I intended. His fear surged in my presence, I refrained from pulling my influence on him in dreams but it failed to help him regardless. During my day rests I would sometimes feel pangs of pain coursing through. Perhaps I had miscalculated his mental aptitude of survival and the time in my dungeon had left more marks than I thought. His chest always puffed larger than it was.

It took Lafayette quite some time to accept a gift freely given. He was hesitant when I offered my blood to him. That dimwit Ginger had shot him in the leg. She couldn't even aim properly. I think Pam only keeps her around for entertainment, she has yet to prove her use to me.

He wasn't swayed easily for the necessity of my blood, so I preyed on his need to survive. Like a good dog he hadn't run to the emergency room. I wouldn't have given a shit that Ginger would be incarcerated for her crime but it would have led them to me. Lafayette was well aware by then who not to trust with his life. The law enforcement surely wasn't one he ever trusted before. He took a chance with me. I repaid it by helping him out when I sensed his danger among the inbred panthers of Hotshot.

"_I'm a bitch not a snitch, love it."_

Love it I did, Lafayette knew how to sustain his life even when he knew he was crossing the line. He wasn't living unless he was crossing somebody's line. He was smart enough not to come near mine.

He cleaned up his dealing of V along with the death of Sophie Anne. He never sought out a new supplier, he knew better than that. Loyalty had been earned, he may still not have liked me but he would never move against me. Tara had pleaded with me for his life once more when she was newly turned. She feared I would still retaliate against him for his participation in the circle of magic that stole my memories away. Apparently she and Lafayette had immediately sought out Sookie to apologise and offer to make it right when they could not find me.

Lafayette all but chained himself in my dungeon in the presence of Pam. He knew who he wronged and how to take the punishment. This told me he had moved on from his former trauma. There are plenty of gluttons for punishment but Lafayette was one of the few that took a punishment earned. He didn't prescribe by the laws of the land just like I. He had a code of honour regardless, it was one I could respect.

He had paid a heavy price by turning against a powerful witch, she used his body as retribution to kill his lover. I think even I wouldn't be that cruel from the afterlife and there's plenty of that inside me. I had dampened the bond on his blood from that point on. My memories of a blissful time with Sookie were in the forefront of my mind and she wanted distance. I had enough of my own pain and I didn't need his alongside it. It's probably why his development into a failing medium had gone unnoticed by me.

Sookie told me it was more difficult for him to control than her own telepathy. She had tried to help him develop shields but some of the spirits were just too strong and could still overpower him. It only made the most determined seek him out. I wondered if my blood had induced this activation of powers, I would have to wait and see what happened with Jason. I strongly suspected my blood had awoken that Fairy spark in Sookie after Dallas. I seemed to be gaining quite the menagerie with the inhabitants of Bon Temps ever since.

Without much to do I checked my bank accounts. I was pleased to see everything ran as it should in my absence. The payments to Ruby Jean's care home would continue to be paid until her death. Lafayette had thought himself fortunate when the charitable branch of AIG capital had taken over his payments. He was fortunate because he had met me. I had looked into his finances when he was still on my payroll.

Lafayette worked as a parish road worker by day and as a short order cook by night alongside his shady business dealings. His adult website left me and Pam with hours of entertainment, the bill on that was higher than her shoe budget that month. We especially enjoyed the dancing Laura Bush mask.

Since I took over those payments, Lafayette had only stuck to his job at Merlotte's and the minor dealings of soft drugs. He was by no means the capitalist he was before but the pressure of his mother's care was relieved. From Pam I had gathered that the two sisters who had birthed her child and Lafayette were by no means eligible to be mother of the year but I would continue the payments regardless. If Lafayette worked that hard for someone who didn't deserve his loyalty I would honour that. I did nothing of care to deserve his and he gave it regardless.

I sent out an email to Ludwig to check in on the mother. Her schizophrenia might just be the same thing her son suffered from. Actual voices in her head.

I had initially only taken an interest in Lafayette for his skills but I found him to be a loyal friend to Sookie though she had informed me he had cursed her car in retribution of Tara's death. Family meant more to him above all other's that much was clear. Fortunately things had patched up between all three before his death.

I had seen it with other vampires who shared a shitty maker. They bound closer to each other than the maker and child in retaliation, it's why parenting was a responsibility I had always refrained from entering upon. I only turned Willa out of strategy and I wouldn't have if Pam was unable to stand on her own.

I had sensed through Tara's tough exterior the importance of her cousin, as much as she tried to distance herself from her human past she couldn't give up on the people that were closest to her. She had shared more with them than she ever would with Pam. Their relationship was just different.

"Any news?" I asked when I spoke to Sookie for the second time that night. She usually called at this hour, right before my day rest. At this time of year the Swedish nights were extremely short and the days long, it helped my healing along as I spent the day in upturned soil and replenished with pints of blood by night.

"No," she said with some trepidation.

Sookie had lived through this before and would come out unscathed once more. I was certain of that. Death becomes easier when the numbers become larger. I don't remember every death I doled out but the ones of significance never fade in the confines of my mind. The memory of my human family's stands tall above the rest. I felt powerless then just like Sookie does now.

"That's good then," I offered.

"No news is good news," Sookie quipped back but her usual spirit was missing from her voice.

"In these cases it usually is," I returned. "Just keep breathing."

_"You told me to keep on breathing, to keep on living. HOW?"_

I needed her to remain safe despite her inner turmoil. Bill's ridiculous donor scheme wouldn't keep the people of her town secure from those infected beings. A handful of vampires protecting them from a swarm of mutants? I refuse to call them vampires, they're no longer of us. I saw Nora degenerate, she was gone before she finally fell to pieces. My own physical recovery from the flames was going faster than expected but I was not well enough to scoop Sookie out of that hell.

"Willa. She's with you now?" I asked when all I could hear was the sound of her heavy breathing.

"Yes," she said so softly I knew tears were staining her eyes. I hated the distance between us, especially now. When she told me she had found that girl in the white dress again a few nights past I was elated. She was letting me back in, when I had respected her need for a life without vampires. Perhaps I should have been persistent, it seemed I was the only one that ever listened to what she wanted.

I had agreed with her that I was best a part outside of her life when I signed her back the deed of her house. If she was willing to take me back now I no longer saw reason to object. For now all I could do was send comfort through the distant bond we shared but it was a paltry offering to what my body could bring her. I may not carry warmth but I know how to express it with her.

"Is this how we're all going to end up?" she sniffed.

"_We could end up in Hell, or fuckin South Dakota."_

She was living in a warzone while I lived in the comfort of the Swedish countryside. On a nightly basis my personal meals on wheels were delivered and not a single person in this hamlet gave a derogatory glare. They cherished me as much as the ancient and well preserved Vasa ship down in Stockholm. I was a part of their collective history not a threat to it.

Lafayette never had that acceptance, only three people ever cherished his black ass. A dead lover, an undead cousin and a sad fairy. He needed more people in his corner especially now.

"No," I said with determination. Sookie was a survivor, like me and like Lafayette. I'd be dammed if death was going to come knocking on her door again. She'd be in safety beside me soon enough.

Pam was supposed to be airlifting Sookie out of Bon Temps tonight to bring her here. That would have to be put on hold for now. The magic of our blood is never a guarantee but we'll have to wait another two nights and see. He won't be my motherfuckin' bad-ass vampire but at least he will be Pam's.

**A/N: So I pulled an Alan Ball… I wasn't ready to let Lafayette go quite yet. I love his character even though I find it difficult to capture that spirit in my own writings. I think it's because the performance Nelsan Ellis puts in lifts that character from the pages beyond the words so he'll 'live' for now. **

**VAlady asked for mercy last week, so I would like to make it clear that this was mere coincidence. I wrote this entire story before the first episode aired. I swear I was not bribed with high quality dark chocolate (72 % please) or fancy footwear…**

**I'll warn you that next week's instalment won't be a pleasant read, not so much for the character but content. After that it will all become slightly more digestible even though those chapters were the hardest to write. Next banner is up on the blog, direct link is in my profile or navigate to the It's Already Gone page on hisviks dot wordpress dot com**

**For those of you who haven't seen it yet: in celebration of my fanfic birthday this past Wednesday I wrote a silly little one shot called **_**The Doctor is in**_** that has Dr Ludwig setting right some of the wrongs of CH's dead ever after. Please check it out if you like.**


	6. Chapter 6 - The Citizens of Bon Temps

_A/N: I have noticed from some of the reviewers' responses that fact and fiction between this and other season 7 stories, as well as the show, are merging a bit so I will be posting a short summary of the previous chapters from now on. Like I warned last week this chapter isn't a pleasant one to read but it does get easier from this point onwards as time starts moving differently. If you remember everything perfectly skip on over the italics to get to the chapter._

_Ch 1 – Alcide_

_Alcide gets killed in the attack by the swarm of Hep-V infected vampires at the end of season 6. Seeing that I wrote this entire story before watching season 7 they are more akin to the zombie like versions we saw in the season 6 finale. Sookie realises that though she cared for Alcide she stayed with him out of guilt rather than truly loving him._

_Ch 2 – Jessica_

_Eric kills Jessica thinking she is Bill as he recuperates from his fight with the sun when the Warlow SPF ran out. He ends up crawling out of the shelter of his cave as he fears Bill will come after him next. He reopens the bond to Pam who is by his side instantly at the ready to take him to the windy shithole in Öland which she painted pink in retaliation for his extended absence._

_Ch 3 – Sam_

_Sam commits suicide as Nicole and the baby were killed on the same night as Alcide. He waits till the moment Sookie returns from Jackson MI to do the deed. He feels like no one is there for him as anyone he's ever loved dies. He sent Sookie a goodbye note and an extensive list of all Bill's victims leaving Sookie to realise she isn't the angel of death but rather it is with Bill's introduction that the body count started to stack up. Sookie and Tara commiserate over ice cream post funeral but Tara runs off in sudden haste and Sookie follows her across the cemetery towards Bill's house._

_Ch 4 – Bill_

_In exchange for being 'nice' to Sookie Pam is given the honour of killing Bill for his attempt to kill Eric. Although Tara's enthusiasm of seeing her maker again throws off Pam's upper hand Sookie ends up saving the day by tossing her the stake that ends Bill Compton's undead existence. Sookie demands to know where Eric is claiming she'll teleport her way over there seeing that the Southern states are held in quarantine to stop Hep-V from spreading any further. Sookie and Eric speak over the phone instead where she confesses to finding the girl in the white dress again, Bill had been keeping that hostage. Pam doesn't understand what's so magical about Sookie's shower._

_Ch 5 – Lafayette_

_Another spirit possesses Lafayette and it turns deadly on the night Pam was supposed to air lift Sookie and a few others from the quarantine zone to then travel to Sweden where Eric continues to recover. Eric and Sookie talk over the phone as he tries to assure her everything will be okay and that she will be safely by his side soon enough. In the end it is revealed that Pam is to become Lafayette's maker in two nights. _

….

….

….

**Chapter 6 – The Citizens of Bon Temps**

"_I've always liked you, and I'd miss you if you got killed, just so you know."_ – Terry Bellefleur s03e02

**SPOV**

I should have magically spread open my legs to Eric from the moment I returned from the land of the Fae. He had kept me safe once more and he wasn't even here to do it. There was another attack by a swarm of Hep-V infected vampires last night. The numbers totalling far more than ever before. Eric had kept me safe because of the cubby.

Violet is presumed dead or infected. She wasn't the type to take anything lying down, except Jason apparently. I'm still trying to erase those memories from my mind, it didn't help that he was the only other breathing thing in the cubby with me. Willa was the only other non-breathing being with us under the ground. She was too young and untrained to go out and fight. Eric had helped her temper the bloodlust that was raging inside her over the phone for most of the night while fighting the pull of the sun on his side of the world.

It was a revelation to me to hear Eric be so fatherly with her. I knew his relationship with Pam was a special one and because of that she was yet to like me. Their relationship was something of equals, their roles interchanged to necessity and need. I had always pictured myself with children of my own and a husband but last night showed me there were different incarnations of that. I had been somewhat of a reluctant mother to Jessica but mostly because Bill was slack in his parenting.

I was sad to hear that Jessica had come to an end at Eric's hands. He had acted on instinct in his injured state. There was no doubt in my mind that Jessica had been commanded to do so and Bill should have known it was a suicide mission to send a baby vampire to kill a thousand year old one, even a severely injured one. Either that or he was ridiculously overconfident in Jessica's abilities. In any case it was a cruel spot to place his child in, the responsibility of her final death lay with him. Even posthumously I was adding names to the list.

Tara is resting in the shared grave of Pam and Lafayette. She had insisted on doing so despite her maker's protests that her presence added nothing to the process. Apparently Tara's patented bitch glare got her more sway with her maker than with anyone else. Thankfully we found their grave undisturbed this morning. The destruction of the town, however, was all encompassing. It made the damage of the maenad pale in comparison. My own beloved farmhouse lay half in ruins.

We couldn't find any bodies, it was a complete ghost town. Blood was abundant as was debris till we stumbled upon the Loudermilk field that once housed the fairy club. It was a mass grave that Jason insisted was a cover up by the government. As if they had the time, they could barely spare the men to contain the swarms of Hep-V infected vampires. The mystery, however, remained to why the deranged vampires would bury their dinner as we had yet find a body or living being.

It was faint but I heard tears and my telepathy senses a distant presence. Jason thought me insane once more as he heard none. It wasn't till my light activated that I understood it was coming from Hooligan's. I hadn't been inside since Warlow had eaten the entire buffet of fairies. Jason and I found Adilynn huddled over her father's drained body in the desolate space. The poor girl had lost so much at the hands of vampires. She didn't even notice our presence till my hand touched her shoulder from behind.

She screamed in fear till I mentally reached out with my mind to soothe her that she was safe. At the realisation she sank into my arms sobbing in earnest. I read from her mind of the events that had taken place in the dead of night. One by one the homes that were the last bastion of protection against their kind were razed to the ground till the magical barrier of protection was gone. Even in their weakened state a human had no chance with the infected vampires. Adylinn was far too young to be able to process it all. While I soothed her as best I could Jason shed a few tears for Andy in the privacy of his own mind.

Andy Bellefleur had never given me much respect. The Stackhouses were always considered backwards trash by the likes of the established Bellefleur's even though our families were of the first in this town. Andy's own failing to meet the grand standing of his own last name made him especially unkind to Jason and I. In my absence in Fae he and Jason had established a friendship, granted it was over covering up Eggs' death but it stood strong regardless. They had been there for each other and in doing so Andy had found respect in the Stackhouses despite our last name.

He was always wary of what I could do with my mind but hoped for my assistance in his police trials whenever he was stuck. I gave him as much as I could afford which often wasn't much.

"He's been drained," Jason, aka captain obvious, said.

"So?" I returned with a bit of a snip, my thoughts concerned with the grieving Adilynn.

"He's been drained," Jason repeated once more before it dawned on me. All the other bodies we had seen after the first attack were ripped to shreds like they were flesh eaters. Most bodies were identified by Sam's discerning nose, there hadn't been one open casket funeral.

I sat Adilyn down gently beside me as I looked at Andy's corpse properly for the first time. There was blood on his lips and after witnessing a turning twice now, I recognised it as not his own. The mass grave beneath us was simply a temporary holding cell. It suddenly made sense to me why their numbers were increasing when the supply of infected Tru Blood was no longer available. It had nothing to do with the blood of humans infecting the healthy vampires.

The quarantine was a farce, they were simply containing a lethal situation. We were left here to die as they protected the borders. Either they eradicated all the Hep-V infected vampires that ventured to the border or they died when the food supply ran out. The humans were sacrificed to placate to the safety of the rest of the world. The government had no means to control the outbreak so they let it implode from within. It sickened me to my core and Jason's anti-government ramblings didn't seem so far-fetched anymore.

"Adilynn honey," I said softly to which her glistening eyes reached my own. "We need to burn his body."

"No," she whimpered as my heart broke for her. She wasn't ready to let go just like I had been incapable with my Gran's sudden death.

"Andy wouldn't have wanted to be a vampire," Jason said consolingly with his own tears no longer hidden from view. "Especially one with HPV." I refrained from rolling my eyes at Jason's mashups of the two decidedly different diseases. Six months with hearing the words Hep-V every thirty seconds and he still went with the cancer inducing infection.

Adilynn gave a brave nod and did what I had been incapable to do with Tara. She let a loved one go. She wasn't selfish in keeping him here in whatever form, she respected his wishes for an honest death. It was the right choice to make, especially knowing Andy wouldn't last long as a vampire and his death would come regardless either by the containment or the lack of nourishment.

Andy's body didn't burn when we carried it out into the sun. Adilynn's taking his body above ground most likely interfered with the turning process. Regardless we had decided all the bodies had to be burned, we would take no chances with anyone. Jason left to get the stacks of firewood Eric had filled one of our barns with. It was yet another reason I was thankful for Eric's presence in my absence. Adilynn and I set to wash the blood off Andy's corpse with supplies we found inside the club and water from a nearby creek.

When we were through we started to dig at the first corner of the shallow grave, instantly a few bodies caught fire while others remained as unchanged like Andy's. Apparently the success rate of turning among the Hep-V infected was not so high, on average one in three took to flames. I recorded every single name as I set my pencil to paper. These people had lives and families, they would be missed. The population of Bon Temps had dwindled to a saddening three overnight but I would see to it that everyone who knew these people would be informed.

The physical labour was good to us, it halted our tears for the people who had surrounded us all our lives. Jason and I continued to dig upon his return while Adilynn diligently washed their bodies clean. The children were the worst to find, the innocence lost at such a young age. We placed them beside their parents where we could.

My tears were no longer contained when I came across Coby and Lisa. Their hands were clasped tight together fear penetrating their dead eyes. I had known them both since infants, Lisa I even sensed before Arlene in her womb. Bon Temps was never going to offer them much of a future, Lisa was well on her way to become the teen mom she dressed up as for Halloween. Cody was set to follow in Jason's tomcat ways. Regardless they deserved to live that life because they had barely lived at all.

I closed the lids to their eyes as I was unable to stand witness to their haunting any longer. We were barely through half the field by midday as our energy was running ragged. Jason had brought some food along with the firewood but despite our grumbling stomachs none of us had an appetite. We ploughed on and I was hardly startled when I found Holly's body as it instantly disintegrated into flames.

The arrival of the natural witch had made me suspicious of her at first, considering the state Amnesia Eric was in at the time. Despite her participation in that, I knew her heart to rest in the right place, she was forgiving and saw the larger scheme rather than nit-pick at the insignificant details of life. In forgiving Andy's infidelity she took Adilynn and her sisters in as her own, standing ready at their birth. I was glad Adilynn had not witnessed the instant cremation as I just had. She was like a real mother to her and it was far from a pretty sight.

Maxine Fortenberry would be glad to know she was not turned. Her hatred of vampires would have made a successful turning hilarious under any other circumstances but not today. And not any day after this. Hoyt was a proper orphan now, lost on his own to Alaska. Despite their unhealthy relationship I knew he would miss her every day from now on, I never stopped missing my mother despite the hateful things her mind would tell me.

We placed Andy besides his grandmother Caroline and his sister Portia. At least they had been close together when they were drained. Jason gave me a weird look when I instructed to place Kevin Ellis besides Kenya Jones. Apparently only in my mind was it known that those two co-workers were hopelessly in love with each other but neither one had ever spoken a word of it. I had learned long ago with the people of this town that I best keep my mouth shut when it came to their private affairs. Now all I could feel was sad for not revealing what lay hidden in their minds. They could have had a chance at consummating something they had both desired.

Tara's mother Lettie Mae was gone in seconds together with her newly found husband the preacher. At least they went together whether it be to heaven or hell. I had no concept on how God would judge this anymore. I stayed true that forgiveness was all, but of all the evil creatures I met Mrs Thornton/Daniels was the one I would find it hardest to forgive. Perhaps our lord had a larger heart than mine. For the souls that were departing around us I hoped he did. None of them had deserved this hell on earth.

I fell to pieces when I found Arlene. Not that our friendship had withstood her scrutiny of me that well, but because of the infant that was smothered to her chest. He bared no fang marks, his head was snapped. I knew no Hep-V infected vampire would cleanly kill a babe of not even two years old. They had no human values or vampiric ones for that matter. Like a true mother protecting her cub she had released the life out of her own child before anyone else could. I finally understood what my father had been trying to do with me. Mercy.

A fate worse than death was what he had protected me from. It took Warlow revealing his true sadistic self to discover that. I should have known my father had acted out of a place of love no matter how misguided it had been. Millennia by the faepire's side would have been my personal hell on earth and not even Eric could have saved me from that.

Big John was the last body we found. He wasn't a man of many words but when he spoke you knew. It was always profound with a timbre that made you think. His mind was anything but quiet, it's how I knew his speech was always carefully selected. He was kind and didn't deserve this. None of the citizens of Bon Temps did.

Their bodies were cleansed while ours were speckled with dirt, ash and blood. Adilynn and I collapsed at the side of the mass grave as Jason doused the bodies with gas. The firewood lay like connecting branches of trees between the bodies. It would have been a beautiful sight had it not been an effigy to death.

We drank some of the fae water from the club to energise our lights and bodies. The sun was close to meeting the horizon so we knew there was little time left. Adilynn and I gathered the strength of our lights and without speaking we bundled our strength to a magnificently bright orb releasing it above the assembly of our former kin and fellow citizens. As if it were the sun itself the bright light descended slower than gravity would allow. It fell to the bodies beneath, flames travelled across the branches as an assembly of barely one and a half thousand slowly succumbed to ash.

We held on to each other tightly as we said our tearful goodbyes. Despite the hate and judgement they had all placed on me I would mourn every single one. They were my people and now they were gone. Perhaps it was poetic or simply chance that the last descendants of this town's two founding families stood witness at the end of these glorious dead. We stood there regardless as I was gifted with silence in this town for the first time in my life.

I found I could not care for it.

**A/N: Remember next banner is up on the It's Already Gone page at hisviks dot wordpress dot com or find the direct link in my profile.**


	7. Chapter 7 - Tara Mae Thornton

_A/N: I have noticed from some of the reviewers' responses that fact and fiction between this and other season 7 fanfics, as well as the actual show, things are merging a bit so I will be posting a short summary of the previous chapters from now on. If you remember everything perfectly skip on over the italics to get to the chapter._

_Ch 1 – Alcide_

_Alcide gets killed in the attack by the swarm of Hep-V infected vampires at the end of season 6. Seeing that I wrote this entire story before watching season 7 they are more akin to the zombie like versions we saw in the season 6 finale. Sookie realises that though she cared for Alcide she stayed with him out of guilt rather than truly loving him._

_Ch 2 – Jessica_

_Eric kills Jessica thinking she is Bill as he recuperates from his fight with the sun when the Warlow SPF ran out. He ends up crawling out of the shelter of his cave as he fears Bill will come after him next. He reopens the bond to Pam who is by his side instantly at the ready to take him to the windy shithole in Öland which she painted pink in retaliation for his extended absence._

_Ch 3 – Sam_

_Sam commits suicide as Nicole and the baby were killed on the same night as Alcide. He waits till the moment Sookie returns from Jackson MI to do the deed. He feels like no one is there for him as anyone he's ever loved dies. He sent Sookie a goodbye note and an extensive list of all Bill's victims leaving Sookie to realise she isn't the angel of death but rather it is with Bill's introduction that the body count started to stack up. Sookie and Tara commiserate over ice cream post funeral but Tara runs off in sudden haste and Sookie follows her across the cemetery towards Bill's house._

_Ch 4 – Bill_

_In exchange for being 'nice' to Sookie Pam is given the honour of killing Bill for his attempt to kill Eric. Although Tara's enthusiasm of seeing her maker again throws off Pam's upper hand Sookie ends up saving the day by tossing her the stake that ends Bill Compton's undead existence. Sookie demands to know where Eric is claiming she'll teleport her way over there seeing that the Southern states are held in quarantine to stop Hep-V from spreading any further. Sookie and Eric speak over the phone instead where she confesses to finding the girl in the white dress again, Bill had been keeping that hostage. Pam doesn't understand what's so magical about Sookie's shower._

_Ch 5 – Lafayette_

_Another spirit possesses Lafayette and it turns deadly on the night Pam was supposed to air lift Sookie and a few others from the quarantine zone to then travel to Sweden where Eric continues to recover. Eric and Sookie talk over the phone as he tries to assure her everything will be okay and that she will be safely by his side soon enough. In the end it is revealed that Pam is to become Lafayette's maker in two nights. _

_Ch 6 – The Citizens of Bon Temps_

_Sookie, Jason and Willa hide out in the cubby while Pam, Lafayette and Tara reside in a turning grave. Violet tries to fight them on her own. The town of Bon Temps is terrorised by a larger swarm of Hep-V zombies who destroyed every single property and attempted to turn all the town's inhabitants in a mass grave. Sookie and Jason find Adylinn as a lone survivor in the former fae club Hooligan's clutching her father's dead body. They decide to burn everyone to make sure there are no successful turnings._

**Chapter 7 – Tara Mae Thornton**

"_Everyone who's ever been in love with me has ended up dead. It ain't a long list, but it's a bad one to be on."_ – Tara Thornton s04e07

**PPOV**

Bill Compton had a fucking sister. A moronic one at that, took the inept vampire a good sixty years to finally get her revenge. I didn't even bother to get the bitch's name, she had no business being in my vault. She took a leaf out of Eric's playbook; kill someone the target loves rather than the target itself. Makes me want to kill fucking Russell Edgington all over again for inspiring that act.

I had a reputation ever since offing the faux deity known as Bill and his sister and were too close in age. She knew that she didn't stand a chance against me. So instead she prayed on the weak, not that Tara ever was. Unfortunately vampire strength develops with age, I knew she had fought valiantly but there was no doubt in my mind the bitch sister had come prepared.

I was equally prepared when I tortured her for hours on end, she was no fun. She wanted to die so she didn't fight. I thought I had seen everything until that moment, but someone out there actually wanted to die for Bill Compton. That was a true first. According to my children my colour me surprised look is the same as all the others. Pity. For them.

It was thanks to my vault that I knew it was the exact date that Bill Compton had gotten his final death. I never gave him much thought after that night, only once in a while when I relived my glory moments. Bill never mentioned he had a sister when he checked himself into area five. It was my lack of due diligence that let that go unnoticed. Such intelligence was hard to come by, I didn't even know Godric was my grandsire till he had died. My maker didn't share such things with me in the past. Sookie seems to be able to pry more information from Eric than I ever could in that regard.

My other demon of a child is suitably distraught. I had let Tara into our turning grave at her continued insistence. It was easier either to give in or command her to shut her continual jabbering gob. I was getting quite bored with compliant fucks so I had indulged her, hoping it would be the end of it. Eric's parenting was apparently rubbing off on me. I told Tara her presence would add nothing to the turning process but somehow it did. Perhaps it was the demon in Lafayette or the witchy aspect of their familial blood. Regardless they formed a telepathic connection that would drive me to the brink of insanity. They both lacked the signature frozen facial expressions that typify our kind so I knew exactly when they were scheming like two naughty children with a mere glance. Fuck I'll even miss that.

We had risen after three nights as a family. Ever the hostess, the fairy cunt had placed a picnic basket of warmed True Bloods by our grave. When Lafayette's thirst was quenched we followed the scents of burning flesh only to find the last survivors of Bon Temps mourning by a great fire pit. When I understood why, the urgency to depart was greater than before. Either these Hep-V infected mutants were becoming more intelligent or more reckless. Or worse both. Perhaps the discovery of our grave had inspired them. Nevertheless the situation was too dangerous to remain. The town lay in ruins, every home was destroyed till the magical barrier that protected its inhabitants from vampires entering was lifted.

Sookie and her idiot of a brother had ploughed an entire field of bodies in the span of a day. Adilynn had ritually cleansed each and every one. They gave their respect to the death when they hardly had the energy or manpower to do so.

Apart from the three part fairies not a soul had survived that night. Sookie wanted to stay despite my objections. Not even Eric could convince her otherwise over the phone. She needed to make sure these people remained truly death. Her telepathy worked as a radar for possible threats and young Adilynn blasted a lost Hep-V piece of shit before he could get near. I liked _that_ sparkly vagina instantly.

Only when the flames had died down to ashes were we finally able to leave. We boxed everything of importance into the bunker, which Sookie insisted calling a cubby, and we prepared to leave. We passed by the only non-desecrated place in that former town, the cemetery next door. It held little allure to the roaming infected vampires so the three breathing things said their goodbyes to their permanently buried friends and family in relative peace. We quickly took to the sky after that aboard PamAm. Lafayette turned out to be a lucky bastard in his new found state. Not only had he been spared the attack, he could fly instantly where it had taken me a century to develop such a gift. Asshole.

Eric bought up all the land of the desolate town of Bon Temps upon our arrival in Sweden. There's little he won't do for access to her twinkle cave. All three of them have never gone back since.

Through a few choice contacts my maker had managed to persuade the American government to attack the remaining Hep-V infectees with high powered UV lights attached to drones. It was so simple it amazed me the humans hadn't thought of it themselves. Not that I ever held them in much regard.

They only chose to listen when Eric demonstrated our gift of flight. It would take just one of those fucktard zombies to be able to fly and their containment area was lost. On the side Sookie turned out to be an excellent blackmailer with her telepathic gifts. I finally found a use for her after all. Begrudgingly she has grown in my esteem since that night. The same went for the brother whose conspiracy theories held more truth to them than we ever thought possible. We got him a nice screen shot of Violet burning to her death for his birthday that year. Good times indeed.

Humans do it better than us. Dying that is. As a parent you can expect to go first in these times. In my human days a loss of a child was a more common occurrence. Babes and infants mostly. We mourned the loss of innocence, of those that barely spoke a day in their life. It's different to lose one that has been by your side for many years. You no longer grieve the loss of life but rather the person.

I never wanted to turn Tara but once I had her, I never wanted to let her go. I loathed her as a human but I loved her as my child. Not because she was my child but because from that point on I knew what lay beyond the full metal armour of her exterior. We were not so different she and I.

Cold and heartless to the outside world but loving and passionate in the privacy of our own. She was too smart for her own good. Too smart for everyone around her and raised by the worst circumstances. She was a fighter and a magnificent one at that. She fought me at every turn, never scared to back down. Tara despised me for turning her but found the liberation that had made me seek it out soon enough. We understood each other in a way not even Eric could.

I don't do relationships well, unless it is by the blood. My maker and I will be forever connected as my children will be to me. Or rather child now. I don't think I will ever turn another. With Tara it had always been different, perhaps because we both loathed the situation initially. I didn't want to take care of her but I did. She didn't need to be nurtured into the finesses of our species, she was smart enough to do that all on her own. Instead she needed fostering from the world that had spit on her and chewed her out. Repeatedly.

I don't know if it was her association with the trouble magnet telepath or that she had enough karma to attract it all by her lonesome but life fought her. Continually. In death she found nourishment because she could stop being fuelled by irrational expectations. She was born for this even if it was for a short while.

We never talked much but when we did it mattered. Life had dealt her shitty cards, she had met every aspect. Rape, domestic violence, addiction and discrimination. I had known some of those myself, an independent woman never has an easy start. Unlike Tara I was never unable to ignore the chances that lay in front of me. I may have played with high stakes when I first met Eric but I lived without regrets.

Tara was ever weighed down by responsibilities instead, she took care of those that refused to do the same for her. She was never allowed to be a child until she became mine, she had been parenting everyone around her from birth. Abuse is not something that disappears from your system with a transfusion of vampire blood. She continued to carry those demons into this new life. I hope she will be free of them now, that her true death will bring her some peace in that.

My favoured child was never scared to end her life, Lafayette still fears it at every turn. I had to command Tara to stop the many attempts in her early days. Death wasn't so scary when you had walked through the dregs of life and found no hope. Perhaps that's why she was so careless with her own when it came to protecting those she loved. She was the type to shoot first and ask questions later. It always left me with the clean-up, living with the winds was hardly something she seemed to grasp. Tara was a hurricane all on her own.

Despite our turbulent beginnings our life in this windy shithole was quiet. Things were still decorated pink at Eric's insistence despite my gravitation to darker colours now. We had nothing but time here. We raised our children side by side with Sookie as the mother hen. Adilynn was a baby when we first met and despite her initial fear at seeing Eric once more she was like a true daughter to him now.

We traded our summers for South Africa to avoid the short nights. Eric and Sookie stayed behind with their surrogate child as they enjoyed the short period of warmth too much. On top of that the bastard was slowly becoming immune to the sun with his steady fairy feedings.

My children felt kinship to the land we owned down below the equator. I mostly enjoyed the clarity of the feed in the unsullied blood bags. I was so pleased with it that I opened a destination resort for vampires. Like all my ventures it was wildly successful, accommodating to drifting vampires who wanted year round eternal nights. We had a similar winter endeavour not far from the windy shithole.

Willa had managed to become a deputy to the local sheriff under Eric's tutelage and she had become a considerable force in the process. More in the political manipulation rather than the strength department. That suited the Swedish vampires better anyway, they are all painfully democratic and considerate. It sickens my sensibilities and I'd be out of here in an instant if it wasn't for the long winter nights and my maker's presence.

Tara taught Willa everything she knew in Eric's absence. We did some considerate grovelling to make up for the absentee parenting of those six months. We'd have indulged them a lot more if Sookie hadn't interfered, insisting our reparations were to be fixed with something other than expensive baubles. So in defiance I bought Tara her own home. She barely ever used it, preferring to stay with me but I knew she appreciated having a space to call her own. The girl never even had a bedroom that wasn't shared. She didn't know how to be alone even though she would try her hardest to scare everyone away.

I saw through her smoke screen easily enough. The harder you pushed the closer you stayed. Give up on her and she would give up on herself. No one had ever bothered to believe in her. She grew to strength in our time here. I forced her to get a college education. Not because she needed one, I knew she wanted one but would never request it for herself. She would demand respect or acknowledgment but it took her some time to claim anything of true material worth.

She was a formidable lawyer, able to argue anything she desired. I suspected people mostly just wanted her to shut up and gave in, much like my parenting style. Tara never became an entitled brat, as soon as she earned her own money she refused a cent from me. That gave her more self-worth than I ever could. She became someone others looked up to especially when we summered down south.

Tara wanted to be a mother but not in the vampiric way, instead she nurtured the children that surrounded our African lands. I hated the smells of teacup humans so I made her keep them outside. No one went without, they were fed, clothed and given a chance at life. Something no one had bothered to do for her aside from Sookie's grandmother. She named the foundation that she ran after her and of course the little telepath had to sniffle at that. That woman sheds more tears than any creature I have ever come across. Apparently there is such a thing as happy tears. Perhaps it's like my happy and mad face, it's all the same to me.

I'll stay mad for a while. Mostly at myself. Eric is right, I'm extremely lazy. Bill's death had consequences and I didn't rule them out. It should have been me. His blood was not on her hands, solely on mine.

She protected what was hers. Me. It wasn't the first time and had she survived, it wouldn't have been the last time. Tara didn't shy away from conflict, it's where she excelled, whether it be a verbal brawl or a physical one. Strength had remained resilient inside of her, despite the assaults that had tormented her. Perhaps because of it. She survived herself and that was something commendable, most vampires could not hope to achieve that in centuries of continued existence.

Tara wasn't perfect and we were far from perfect for each other. We were no Oprah and Gayle but we enjoyed draining a bitch together. Neither one of us subscribed to the idea of an epic love story. I liked her, she liked me. Though neither of us would ever admit that out loud, but we knew. Like we knew everything else.

Our lists were short but we were both on it. Right at the top. I never thought anyone would replace my maker from his preferred spot but she did. For once someone was on her list and didn't die, perhaps it was because I was already dead or because she preferred to do the dying for the both of us. She knew I could live without her but she wouldn't be able to live without me.

I loved her and she loved me.

It is nothing like what exists between my maker and his little fae. They may hold the envy of everyone as the quintessential golden couple but they exist on attraction while Tara and I were fuelled by confrontation. We clashed constantly and there we found each other. Love and hate live closely alongside each other after all. Between Tara and I, it was as if we had to prove that to one another each and every night. Now there will only be love. I cannot hate her anymore. I can only hate that she is gone.

Bitch.

**A/N:** **As always the next banner is up on the blog, direct link is in my profile or navigate to the It's Already Gone page on hisviks dot wordpress dot com**

**I liked Tara in season one. Got annoyed in season two but loved the company she kept in Franklin Mott in season three and then went back and forth between annoyed and cheering when she slapped some sense in Sookie. **

**I said there would be no spoilers in this fic so skip ahead if you want none… although honestly there's very little to spoil…**

*****SPOILERS*****

**I was rather dissatisfied with her death on TB and Pam's apathetic response to it. In the previous season they dragged on her storyline senselessly and I felt it a bit of a disservice to the actress who portrayed her so well (anyone who has seen the pilot can attest to that considering the original Tara that was cast). What's left of her storyline seems redundant but perhaps thonight's episode will change my opinion on that…**

*****SPOILERS*****


	8. Chapter 8 - Jason Stackhouse

_A/N: I have noticed from some of the reviewers' responses that fact and fiction between this and other season 7 fanfics, as well as the actual show, things are merging a bit so I will be posting a short summary of the previous chapters from now on. If you remember everything perfectly skip on over the italics to get to the chapter._

_Ch 1 – Alcide_

_Alcide gets killed in the attack by the swarm of Hep-V infected vampires at the end of season 6. Seeing that I wrote this entire story before watching season 7 they are more akin to the zombie like versions we saw in the season 6 finale. Sookie realises that though she cared for Alcide she stayed with him out of guilt rather than truly loving him._

_Ch 2 – Jessica_

_Eric kills Jessica thinking she is Bill as he recuperates from his fight with the sun when the Warlow SPF ran out. He ends up crawling out of the shelter of his cave as he fears Bill will come after him next. He reopens the bond to Pam who is by his side instantly at the ready to take him to the windy shithole in Öland which she painted pink in retaliation for his extended absence._

_Ch 3 – Sam_

_Sam commits suicide as Nicole and the baby were killed on the same night as Alcide. He waits till the moment Sookie returns from Jackson MI to do the deed. He feels like no one is there for him as anyone he's ever loved dies. He sent Sookie a goodbye note and an extensive list of all Bill's victims leaving Sookie to realise she isn't the angel of death but rather it is with Bill's introduction that the body count started to stack up. Sookie and Tara commiserate over ice cream post funeral but Tara runs off in sudden haste and Sookie follows her across the cemetery towards Bill's house._

_Ch 4 – Bill_

_In exchange for being 'nice' to Sookie Pam is given the honour of killing Bill for his attempt to kill Eric. Although Tara's enthusiasm of seeing her maker again throws off Pam's upper hand Sookie ends up saving the day by tossing her the stake that ends Bill Compton's undead existence. Sookie demands to know where Eric is claiming she'll teleport her way over there seeing that the Southern states are held in quarantine to stop Hep-V from spreading any further. Sookie and Eric speak over the phone instead where she confesses to finding the girl in the white dress again, Bill had been keeping that hostage. Pam doesn't understand what's so magical about Sookie's shower._

_Ch 5 – Lafayette_

_Another spirit possesses Lafayette and it turns deadly on the night Pam was supposed to air lift Sookie and a few others from the quarantine zone to then travel to Sweden where Eric continues to recover. Eric and Sookie talk over the phone as he tries to assure her everything will be okay and that she will be safely by his side soon enough. In the end it is revealed that Pam is to become Lafayette's maker in two nights. _

_Ch 6 – The Citizens of Bon Temps_

_Sookie, Jason and Willa hide out in the cubby while Pam, Lafayette and Tara reside in a turning grave. Violet tries to fight them on her own. The town of Bon Temps is terrorised by a larger swarm of Hep-V zombies who destroyed every single property and attempted to turn all the town's inhabitants in a mass grave. Sookie and Jason find Adylinn as a lone survivor in the former fae club Hooligan's clutching her father's dead body. They decide to burn everyone to make sure there are no successful turnings._

_Ch 7 – Tara Mae Thornton_

_Pam escorted the last survivors safely out of Bon Temps and brings them to the windy shithole in Sweden. Eric convinces the US government, with a little blackmail info acquired through Sookie's telepathy, to take out the HEP-V infected vampires with UV-light equipped drones instead of simply containing the area and waiting for their food supply to die out. After 60 blissful years and a relatively happy existence on the anniversary of Bill's death Tara is taken out by a previously unknown vampire sister of Bill Compton. Pam is pissed._

**Chapter 8 - Jason Stackhouse **

"_The whole point in being a hero is to do something greater than yourself." – _Jason Stackhouse s02e12

**SPOV**

283 years on and he didn't look a day over 28. It shouldn't surprise me that we could still die but it did. We didn't know if it was because we were part fae or something else. Adylinn, Jason and I hadn't aged a day since we left Bon Temps that fateful night. The only thing we ever did collectively was drink the fae water from the club. We had rationalised the restorative power of it in relation to the labour we had put in that day, but as each year passed our minds continued to wander of its true effect.

Jason didn't die from old age. I almost forgot that was a possibility. The humans in our daily lives were the only reminders of that. With our stalled ages and magical abilities it became impossible to identify ourselves as such anymore. We were a strange commune of fairies and vampires living peacefully side by side. It didn't mean we were without our issues as most had grown close like siblings and squabbled accordingly. Jason and Pam always clashed the most, between his embracing qualities of those that surrounded us and her apathy for whatever she did not consider 'family' they found little common ground.

For all Jason's faults his insistent heroism wasn't one of them. His heart had always remained firmly in the right place as it continued to beat beyond its expiration date. He died saving others, something he continued to do all his life even beyond his obligation as the force of the law.

With realisation Jason began to understand he served to protect others, it was what he excelled at. When we first arrived to Sweden he had considered pursuing his police career but found there was little need for that here. He whimpered for a long time at his loss of guns, much to my chagrin Eric had introduced him to his secret arsenal. He had also placated Jason with a menial job but he could find no fulfilment in it. He ended up as a youth councillor because he had experienced more than I even knew. His first sexual experience was a manipulation of a lonely teacher which only later in life did he recognise as abuse when he had lived through that hell with the abusive were panthers.

In that aftermath Jason had lost his best and oldest friend in the world, Hoyt still continued to live a natural human lifespan but to him it was like he died in that moment. My older brother understood the consequences of his actions like no other. Understood vices and their subsequent downfall. While Jason had gotten himself in a lot of trouble in his younger years through addiction and embroiling himself with the wrong crowds his moral compass never wavered. He had tried to save a vampire named Eddy when his girlfriend had coaxed him into draining the man, because that's what Jason continued to see. A man not a means to an end. He took care of the residents of Hotshot even though he had no obligation to because he recognised the necessity of his help. Eric always describes that as quiet nobility, which he had not witnessed in many centuries. To give so selflessly without expecting any reward in return.

Sweden was an adjustment for us all. It took a while for Jason to shed his identity as a God fearing American. While I rekindled the flame with the love of my life my brother finally managed to integrate in these newfound lands by sampling some of the Swedish delights that consisted of a parade of blondes.

'_I'm Jason Stackhouse, and I wanna know you.'_

It didn't take long for Jason to be known as the local manwhore again. Luckily for him this was a completely unimpressive quality here. The only benefit I saw from his tomcatting ways was his accelerated ability to pick up the Swedish language. Learning was never his strongest quality but it cultivated an impressive system to circumvent requirements that made him more creative than most.

I resisted learning that same language for the longest time. It was a complete novelty to me that when I spoke to the locals what I heard in their mind resonated as complete gibberish. It wasn't silence but it was nice regardless. I wasn't instantly labelled the town freak in this sleepy hamlet. Or a fangbanging whore for that matter, as non-judgemental as they were of Jason's ways they treated my relationship with Eric in the exact same light. It took me a few months before the constant exposure to another tongue had me speaking it despite my efforts not to. It didn't help that Eric said the filthiest things in said language and my curiosity got the best of me. Especially when Pam joined in.

It took Jason 20 years to realise Adylinn was hopelessly in love with him, Tara had been the one to point it out in increasingly less subtle hints. While Eric and I treated her like a surrogate daughter we weren't a bit surprised when they informed us she was pregnant and they wanted to get married. It felt a little old fashioned when Jason asked for her hand in marriage from Eric, but that was Jason to a t. He found his manners when they were required of him. Adylinn and Jason weren't related by blood but there was an implied familial tie. My telepathy had told me of their relations far before they did, they had been sneaking around for months.

'_You got no right being in my head. That's... trespassing.'_

Eric and I were okay with it, we hadn't raised Adylinn from a young age, we had merely fostered her when she was all alone and somewhat of an adult. Jason had taken very little interest in her then, he only noticed her when she had fully grown into her own. As a woman in her own right. It made sense for them to be together, they shared the uncertainty of future years. Without the resistance to glamour they both made poor partners for vampires, the only other species we knew of that could stand the test of eternal time. At least on their account, any vampire was happy to have them. Jason remembered his time as Violet's pet all too well and steered clear of all things nocturnal that were not of Eric's bloodline. Adylinn had lost every single family member to a set of fangs only Eric's nurturing of her made her forget some of that loss and let go of the fear that had come with that.

Jason lost the initial prejudice against the species that was cultivated by my first vampire love soon enough. Looking back with the wisdom of too many years I finally understood Jason had a power of his own, one that wasn't as apparent as my telepathy. His instincts were unfailing, unfortunately he was often too ignorant to listen to it but when Jason did it never proved wrong. Jason's dislike of Bill should have been my warning sign but I ignored it, just as I disregarded my own red flags. I could blame Bill influencing me through the blood he had manoeuvred down my throat, but I won't deny there was always a part of me that sought relief in his silence. That silence promised me a life I never thought to have, one that only existed in my dreams, and I sacrificed much for that. Too much.

Another version of that seemingly ungraspable dream had been found here in what Pam had christened Bon Shithøle. It wasn't what I had made-up in my impressionable young mind but in the surroundings of near year round snow and cool air I had found more warmth than I had ever imagined.

Jason didn't want to go up on that icy mountain top, he knew it wasn't safe, his instincts told him not to go. He did regardless because people needed help and he came to their rescue. Like he always came to mine. Jason saved every last one of them before he was engulfed in the impending avalanche. He suffocated to death instantly in his much hated snow, because despite accepting its presence in our newfound home we still remained yearning for the heated sun of our native Louisiana.

Jason sacrificed himself in the end so others could live the years he had to spare. He didn't take the extra years for granted as most of us were inclined to do. Each year counted, every birthday and anniversary was celebrated with equal enthusiasm. Jason had joined the rescue volunteer program because he wanted everyone to be blessed with the longevity he possessed knowing fully well it might cost his own in the end.

'_Sometimes the right thing to do is the wrong thing. I know I did the right thing.'_

We had our troubles and tribulations but we were the only family we had left. Jason soon set to making a family of his own with Adylinn. Only Pam and her vault are able to remember the names of each and every one. 240 years of multiples equals a ton of children, the Swedish welfare state was far from happy with them in their multitude. Fortunately Eric paid enough in taxes to make up for that. They had stuck to Andy's ABC method of naming children. They had redone the rounds from A to Z several times in the process. The first girl was named after our Gran and the first boy after Adylinn's father. Incidentally both A's.

We encouraged them all out of the nest as soon as they were able. Our little realm was a carefully fought sheltered one, yet we found it imperative they could enjoy that safety in the rest of the world. That Jason's children could dream beyond the soil to which they were born, something we both wished we had been afforded with in our youth. Eric's protection got them far even though it was hardly ever without incident.

Our little enclave was a haven to which many returned but for the young with only family as company it didn't always offer enough. Some found love and loss locally but most travelled and settled elsewhere with families of their own. Eric always jokes that I'm the first one to actually put a dent in his largely amassed fortune with the financial care that comes with my nieces and nephews. I usually let out a harrumph I know he delights in but on a cruel day I will remind him of a certain woman named Yvetta.

'_I'm starting to believe that the truth is poison.'_

The truth is Adylinn will suffer more than I ever will. I had my brother close by for 200 years, longer than I ever imagined. She has lost the man she thought she would have forever with and now has to face an unknown expanse of time alone. I knew that feeling as my own from the moment that Eric regained his memories. There was an unknown expiration date to our tryst just as it had existed between Adylinn and Jason but my optimism ignored it then, just like theirs had. However Eric had returned to me, or I to him. Perhaps we both enjoyed torturing ourselves with the taste of spoilt milk too much instead of owning up to what was real. Now we just spoilt each other to make up for our foolishness then. Bill Compton had been holding my white dress hostage all that time. I hated that it was his death that made me realise that, but it did regardless.

'_Maybe we wouldn't keep getting hurt if we just expected the worst.'_

Adylinn, Jason and I had never fallen to the same dark moods again that had us leaving our beloved Bon Temps despite the long and dark winter nights. The horrors we witnessed in our former home town had been etched into our minds permanently. We didn't blame the vampires that did it, nor the humans that developed the crippling disease. We blamed it on Bill Compton. Not Billith, he was still in his 'right' mind when he ordered the destruction of the True Blood factories. His actions had initiated all subsequent events. They were tough things to hear of a man I once loved. I knew Eric to be no saint but there was a method there, a code of honour which I could respect. In return he respected my morals and beliefs.

One of the first things Bill Compton ever said to me was that vampires often turn on those they love most. It seemed that only spoke to himself. Eric never turned on me in our many centuries together. Pam had helped me out with Tara in my need and she had despised me then. Bill said they did not have the same values as humans. Their morals were indeed different but not flawed, I have to admit some of my own closely guarded moralities have changed some with the progression of time.

I always assumed Pam had done me the favour of turning Tara to get back in Eric's good graces. She only told me later it was to settle the debt she incurred with me. I had saved her maker from the sun in the aftermath of Russell's first demise, harboured him without memories. Knowing the passing of many ages myself now, I fully understand that it is far easier to keep track of transactions than it is of something fleeting and fluid like emotions. Eric had told me he owed me once for Godric and it is only now that I truly understood the significance of that debit he acquired with me.

'_It's like if a tree falls in the woods it's still a tree, ain't it?'_

Bill never lost his humanity, he chose to ignore it. He was who he was. Amnesia Eric was no different from the real Eric he was just veneered with a toughened shell that carried a thousand years' worth of experience. He truly was _more_ and it was more for the better. Godric was the only vampire I had met that was more humane than most humans I knew. I should have judged Eric by his maker and not his appearance. Even when I witnessed the crack in that shell on that Dallas rooftop I should have seen the truth he was offering me.

Eric was an opportunistic bastard in his human days, it wasn't a vampire thing. Perhaps Eric reminded me too much of the only other male constant in my life. I didn't recognise the love and care that was there because I already knew that with Jason. Instead I fell for the man that had meticulously followed the mannerisms and actions of the protagonists in my romance novels. I was young and that was the only thing I knew of romantic love. I relied on ration rather than instinct, I had taken for granted that Bill Compton was good people because he was born in Bon Temps. He soon abandoned me, whether it be for his maker, the claw of a maenad or a fanatical church.

The only two people who were truly there for me in that Dallas church were Eric and Jason. Godric saved us all with his human appeal, not through blood or death. It was like that ever since, through chance or circumstance my brother and my dear husband were there for me. It was all the family I ever needed, the rest were a welcome bonus. Jason had warned the vampires at the Moon Goddess Emporium while Eric's actions kept us alive. Jason took on the authority while Eric and I tried to reach a lost Bill. Eric had weakened Warlow enough to reveal his true self while Jason finished him off with a stake. They had an unknown synergy like that. It had saved my life and countless others, it is the complete antithesis of Bill's kill list. After nearly three centuries that particular archive is still not complete but reparations have been made.

Whenever Eric managed to get drunk on a hostile fae, unfortunately we incidentally continued to deal with those, Jason would join him in a suitably inebriated state and they would often relive their glory days in Vamp Camp waving around plastic replicas of guns belonging to Jason's little ones. Much to Adylinn and my hilarity they had even made out on one occasion as Jason confessed to the steamy dreams he had as a result of his blood infusion back then. They were never able to look each other in the eye quite the same and Pam held the video evidence to torture them both with on countless occasions.

'_I might be parrot-phrasing a little.'_

While I will miss my brother dearly for the comic relief that he unintentionally brought, it's his insight I will miss most. He never fell into the honed paths set by generic minds and that always brought a surprise in his poignancy. Jason spoke from the gut, sometimes purely out of hunger, but more often than not deep seated wisdom emerged. His thoughts lived outside of the box. Mostly because no one ever bothered to show him said box nor did he ever go looking for it. Regardless his insight had saved me on several occasions and I knew it to be one of Eric's most valued qualities in his brother in law. Pam mostly used him as a test audience for her human related business endeavours. She always called him the right amount of stupid. Strangely enough he always took that as a compliment, I suspected it had to do with his appreciation of Pam's looks.

While his eyes always continued to roam in appreciation of beauty we all knew none held his gaze quite like Adylinn. Lust turned to love instantly. Jason loved many easily, perhaps to a fault, but with Adilynn and his many children he finally had found the volume to release it on.

Guilt was his only kryptonite. It didn't matter that he had defended Tara's or Andy's lives, the victims of those deaths carried a burden on his conscience. It was Eric who had helped him settle some of that guilt. The necessity of survival was as human a notion as to any other species. It was Godric's first lesson to him as a newly turned vampire and it was the first that reached Jason and soothed his mind.

'_Sometimes you need to destroy something to save it. That's in the Bible... or the Constitution'_

It was a healing that aided some to my own. Like with Jason, death had clung to what I considered my guilty hands. I refused to see the justice without the judgement of my peers, but then that had never been afforded to me when I was wronged. I recognised the guilt now but I no longer carried it as a burden. It kept all our minds clear.

However the guilt Jason continued to carry was of his behaviour after the sudden death of our grandmother. Strung out on V he had struck me and stolen my Gran's prized silver. The physical pain was the least stinging because his guilt triggered my own. My association with Bill Compton had gotten my grandmother killed. Our guilty consciences lived in momentum to each other like that. After Dallas and the destruction of our town by the Maenad we had reached the same conclusion: we were all we had left. We were better together than apart. Our acceptance of each other's roles in our respective lives healed more than most. Thankfully through all the turmoil since, that had never changed.

I would not be able to stand without him now because of that joint acknowledgement. I shall have to try my hardest to fill that void for Adylinn. I won't be able to replace that jovial kindness that resonated with him but I'll try. For him and all his children deserve to remember him as an honest man, not a tragic accident. I used to credit Gran for his innate righteousness but I realised it was mainly him, he was good. Greater than himself.

A true hero in the end.

…

…

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**A/N:** **As always the next banner is up on the blog, direct link is in my profile or navigate to the It's Already Gone page on hisviks dot wordpress dot com**

**Like I said in previous weeks the character's that are next on the chopping block get harder to digest, next week's instalment was particularly difficult to write for me, but time is kinder on them. Jason was the loveable idiot that I couldn't help but adore, from his ridiculous dancing in white undies to pizza forensics… Ryan Kwanten does an excellent job in portraying him. I always think it's a lot harder for someone of intelligence to play an idiot than the other way round, it's the difference between faking and acting. Aside from Pam and Lafayette he gets away with saying the best lines on the show that completely excuse and reaffirm his idiocy at the same time. So I was really sad to write him off... I made the decision to write this story as I did about the characters that shaped the show and as enticing as it sounds I can't kill Ginger every week till the end so I stuck with my intent. Besides I doubt I would have gotten past 500 words with the screeching eternal slave.**

**Saying that… considering the way the show has been developing since last week I'm quite happy to kill Sookie on her own for ten continual weeks… **


	9. Chapter 9 - Pamela Swynford de Beaufort

_A/N: I have noticed from some of the reviewers' responses that fact and fiction between this and other season 7 fanfics, as well as the actual show, things are merging a bit so I will be posting a short summary of the previous chapters from now on. If you remember everything perfectly skip on over the italics to get to the chapter._

_Ch 1 – Alcide_

_Alcide gets killed in the attack by the swarm of Hep-V infected vampires at the end of season 6. Seeing that I wrote this entire story before watching season 7 they are more akin to the zombie like versions we saw in the season 6 finale. Sookie realises that though she cared for Alcide she stayed with him out of guilt rather than truly loving him._

_Ch 2 – Jessica_

_Eric kills Jessica thinking she is Bill as he recuperates from his fight with the sun when the Warlow SPF ran out. He ends up crawling out of the shelter of his cave as he fears Bill will come after him next. He reopens the bond to Pam who is by his side instantly at the ready to take him to the windy shithole in Öland which she painted pink in retaliation for his extended absence._

_Ch 3 – Sam_

_Sam commits suicide as Nicole and the baby were killed on the same night as Alcide. He waits till the moment Sookie returns from Jackson MI to do the deed. He feels like no one is there for him as anyone he's ever loved dies. He sent Sookie a goodbye note and an extensive list of all Bill's victims leaving Sookie to realise she isn't the angel of death but rather it is with Bill's introduction that the body count started to stack up. Sookie and Tara commiserate over ice cream post funeral but Tara runs off in sudden haste and Sookie follows her across the cemetery towards Bill's house._

_Ch 4 – Bill_

_In exchange for being 'nice' to Sookie Pam is given the honour of killing Bill for his attempt to kill Eric. Although Tara's enthusiasm of seeing her maker again throws off Pam's upper hand Sookie ends up saving the day by tossing her the stake that ends Bill Compton's undead existence. Sookie demands to know where Eric is claiming she'll teleport her way over there seeing that the Southern states are held in quarantine to stop Hep-V from spreading any further. Sookie and Eric speak over the phone instead where she confesses to finding the girl in the white dress again, Bill had been keeping that hostage. Pam doesn't understand what's so magical about Sookie's shower._

_Ch 5 – Lafayette_

_Another spirit possesses Lafayette and it turns deadly on the night Pam was supposed to air lift Sookie and a few others from the quarantine zone to then travel to Sweden where Eric continues to recover. Eric and Sookie talk over the phone as he tries to assure her everything will be okay and that she will be safely by his side soon enough. In the end it is revealed that Pam is to become Lafayette's maker in two nights. _

_Ch 6 – The Citizens of Bon Temps_

_Sookie, Jason and Willa hide out in the cubby while Pam, Lafayette and Tara reside in a turning grave. Violet tries to fight them on her own. The town of Bon Temps is terrorised by a larger swarm of Hep-V zombies who destroyed every single property and attempted to turn all the town's inhabitants in a mass grave. Sookie and Jason find Adylinn as a lone survivor in the former fae club Hooligan's clutching her father's dead body. They decide to burn everyone to make sure there are no successful turnings._

_Ch 7 – Tara Mae Thornton_

_Pam escorted the last survivors safely out of Bon Temps and brings them to the windy shithole in Sweden. Eric convinces the US government, with a little blackmail info acquired through Sookie's telepathy, to take out the HEP-V infected vampires with UV-light equipped drones instead of simply containing the area and waiting for their food supply to die out. After 60 blissful years and a relatively happy existence on the anniversary of Bill's death Tara is taken out by a previously unknown vampire sister of Bill Compton. Pam is pissed._

_Ch 8 – Jason Stackhouse_

_Sookie, Jason and Adylinn have not aged a day since leaving Bon Temps and are unknowing to the cause of it. Eric has become somewhat immune to the sun through continual blood exchanges with Sookie. Jason lived a very long and fulfilling life having a multitude of children with Adylinn after doing the rounds with any available woman in Sweden for the first twenty years. Tara nudged the couple in the right direction. Jason died a true hero rescuing others from a snowy mountaintop. _

**Chapter 9 – Pamela Swynford de Beaufort **

"_You're in my vault,"- Pamela Swynford de Beaufort Season 1, Episode 4_

**EPOV**

I always knew Pam would die before me. It was something I knew from the moment I turned her, I don't know how but I did. It had been that same inner voice that told me my maker would leave me to walk this world alone because it was a state I knew far better than most. Pam had forced my hand in turning her and I had complied. I had no interest in a progeny at the time but I also knew I didn't want this life in front of me to pass. I never cared much for the lives of others, time will do that to a man. It wasn't out of love, merely companionship and in truth I was tired of being alone. Godric had been the only other soul I had ever been connected to. Apart from our brief reunions to find the source of the werewolves and their master that had slayed my human family, I was alone. I was a sole survivor and despite the circumstances that caused it I had worn it as a badge of honour for too long. I was never weak but I was solitary.

It had never been an issue until I came to know Pam. She filled a part of my life that I never realised had stood empty. Amazingly Sookie had done that to another corner of my heart a century on. The two of them filled me up without measure and I realised I had been lucky in my ignorance. For to be knowingly without it and to be seeking that, I doubt I would have found what I ultimately had. I stand partially empty without her now, it is more than the bond that tied us to each other as maker and child. As formidable as Willa has grown it is incomparable to what I shared with Pam.

Pam's laziness had taken a back seat after Tara's death. I didn't quite know how the two were related but I was assured they were. Her loyalty remained unaltered even if it did discriminate her vision once or twice. It took time to reconcile the two women that had a stake in my heart. At times I thought a wooden version would show me more mercy than what they could collectively inflict upon me. I should regret the day they found common ground and used it against me but I couldn't. I was too happy that they had connected over something, even if I was at the brunt of it. Jason was of little use in the oestrogen fuelled household we had at the time during the early days of arriving in Sweden. Nor did Pam's pink painted walls help. We lived in a home where the hens ruled the roost. We were happily emasculated in the process. Frankly it was nice not to carry the sole burden of responsibility.

Pam had done that for me before, she helped settle me down. I was restless before I met her, Sookie says it's a remnant from my human past. I had spent centuries trying to solve a riddle that did not seem to want to be solved, it fuelled my survival as my mind continued its eternal back and forth of the how and why that characterised my family's sudden death. Pam gave focus where my attentions lay scattered. I moved along with time but she helped me look towards the next day. It's how she decided she wanted to be a vampire, Pam looked into her own future and saw nothing but decay there. The irony was not lost on me that she was spelled to experience just that at the hands of the possessed witch. It didn't beat her down, it just made her mad as hell.

The only thing that ever seemed to get her down was the thought of losing me, she never realised how much room I had in my heart until another came into view. Perhaps this is why I knew she would die before me, she would be unable to go on without me. Her extreme loyalty would force her to die with me even if she did continue to roam the earth and beyond.

Other vampires considered our relationship to be incestuous. Not because our early days were sexual in nature, that was expected between a maker and child. I kept her around for longer than most and she refused to leave my side. It was an unspoken agreement that neither one of us had found the necessity to question. That wasn't considered natural or healthy among our kind and in cases like Bill and Lorena I would be inclined to agree. However, Pam elevated me to greater heights because I allowed her freedom. We were more like partners than master and slave. Even when she referred to me as such it was always laced with a hint of insolence. I never set out to eradicate who she was, I saw no need for it, I had intended to preserve a worthy human for eternity. She heeled when she needed to, until Sookie entered our lives.

Pam was amused by my fascination at first but her annoyance grew more irritable. I fear it was sending her out to the woods of Bon Temps in a new pair of heels in search of a maenad that finally tipped the scales. My year long search when everyone seemed to think Sookie was a wasted memory only gave cause to infuriate Pam further. Unfortunately we weren't in a good place post witches. It was the furthest we had ever stood apart from one another.

'_Fucking Sookie_.'

To me that was the best activity I ever found on this earth but to Pam those two words had long only been spoken with contempt. It drove a wedge that I never should have allowed to fester. Too much was happening all at once and I had yet to sort out the particulars of my personal life amongst the ruins of my role of Sheriff. There simply was no room to reassess my relationship with Pam as the authority breathed down my neck. I had counted on her loyalty to forgive my neglect of her but it only sought to drive us further apart. She demanded my presence when I was unable to give it to her.

I released Pam as Sookie had released me. It was punishing and perhaps I had displaced the cruelty I had felt to Pam. Sookie had offered me the light and took it away just as suddenly. I let her be, because she needed that. Pam needed to let me be, but that was never a part of her makeup so I had to use a rare moment of force with her. She was extremely loyal, you simply couldn't eradicate that by releasing her to the rest of the world. Emancipating her was a poor choice on my account, but it seemed my only option at the time. Her safety and sanity were paramount as she had just become a maker herself.

Ultimately I needed the same space from Pam as the one Sookie had requested of me, loneliness had returned. Now, however, I knew what it was like not to be. Nora was a poor stand in but she needed me and I felt useful. I needed that sense of purpose to ignore the emptiness that resided inside me. The two corners of my heart were trampled on. Only when I lay in a cave for six months recuperating from the sudden force of the sun did I begin to understand that. As ever Pam stood ready and waiting for me when I opened up to her again.

I never gave up on Sookie but I could only do that because Pam never gave up on me. She brought wisdom in my moments of need, when I had declared defeat and regressed to being a lone survivor again that would meet his end alone. To her we were always two, where I was one with Sookie, Pam simply refused to give up on her other half. Even in our most dire circumstances, an impending death by the hands of a seemingly undefeatable three thousand year old vampire, Pam had refused to submit.

'_Use her.'_

I didn't want to use Sookie but I did. I thought it would close all doors on the telepath that owned precious real estate in my heart of ever seeing me as anything but the evil monster Bill Compton had painted me to be. I should have trusted in the purity of Sookie's nature, she always sees beyond what is truly there. Sookie took me into her home when I had not a memory to my person, endangering her life for my own. We revolved around each other in the now, navigating what the world threw at us piece by piece. Pam knew better than us both. Her eyes and thoughts were always directed at what was next.

Pam was born for an immortal existence because she could not care for the past. Never one for regrets. She was completely unimpressed about seeing the sun again, she had not missed a day. She wasn't frolicking with the rest as if it were a careless day at summer camp while high on Warlow's protective blood. Nor was she partaking in bloodlust at the killing of a man who took his position of authority over her to reduce her to a common whore once more. Instead she was chasing me and the eternal nights I had once gifted her with.

It's rewarding to be a good maker. Loyalty can be bought as long as there is coin on the table, Pam's came at the mere cost of my blood. It was the best transaction I ever made. While I cursed her petulance in our earlier days I never regretted my decision. She would have told you she made the better deal. Pam always seemed to gather what something was worth far better than I ever could. And so we had always made sense by each other's side.

'_Let me walk the world with you, Mr. Northman, or watch me die.'_

She was bored before me. Her signature tone of voice was cultivated from an early age when she was but a mere teacup herself. Pam hated children because she outgrew them when she was one herself. Even then she was far ahead of the curb. She was groomed to be a society lady in Victorian London, instead she broke many hearts where she appeared to be without one. It was a destructive path that led her to the underbelly of society where she ran a brothel in San Francisco. She had no qualms at what she was selling, morals instilled in her never quite having taken hold. Pam was a born entrepreneur, the only person she ever took direction from was me. I fear that was only because I always had the possibility to command her into doing something and she hated wasting time event though we would always be in abundance of it. When she did obey it was done with great resistance. I gave her allowance for it, I never wanted a lap dog, which explains my fondness of Sookie.

I valued inner strength and independence and those were both amply present in the two most important women in my life. Adylinn and Willa had become more like true daughters to Sookie and I, their gentle personae had them acting in accordance. Pam had always been more than that. Godric had been a father, brother and son to me. Pam was like a mother, sister and daughter. Circumstances determined the role rather than the crippling dominance that usually comes with a maker-child tie.

'_We travelled the world together. Killing, fuckin', and laughing.'_

Sometimes it was as if we knew each other better than ourselves. Sookie may be the true telepath but the minds of Pam and I had always existed on the same wave length. We knew each other's moves and thoughts without speaking. When faced off to kill one another in Vamp Camp we both knew exactly what to do. I had trained her well, in mere moments we had made our point to the cowards that hid behind a two way mirror. We stood as survivors in our supposed battle to the death, while they counted their casualties. Pam always had the rationale and signalled impending danger better than most, where I possessed formidable strength. Together we were an unstoppable team. She would never replace the reverence I held for Godric but she brought me qualities he never possessed.

She never ran from anything or anyone, persistent to stand up and fight. I'd like to take credit for that but I can't, that was purely her. Pam ran with the wind but was never afraid to face it when required. She was always on my team and recognised seamlessly the allies that we needed by our side. Even if it was the person she detested most.

'_I'm wearing a Walmart sweatsuit for y'all. If that's not a demonstration of team spirit I don't know what is.'_

She could make me laugh, while I had been amused plenty in my long existence, it had been long since I truly laughed. It reminded me of my human days, when it was me, my comrades in arms and a few rounds of mead. We laughed as only men amongst each other could. Pam was far from butch even if her tastes lay with the feminine but she had returned that levity to me. She hated feminists because all they did was talk about equality, she simply demanded it. Penis or no penis. Then she did always have the fangs as back up.

'_There are two things I try to stay away from. Humans who eat a lot of fish and politics. So whatever comes next, we keep our heads down, our tits up and the blood flowin.'_

She managed to avoid the trappings of politics her whole existence. She saw what it had offered me and decided she lacked the diplomatic skill. Like a true merchant simply used my standing instead. Without question what was mine was hers. I never minded, unlike with Godric or Nora we never hid our relation. Different times allowed for that, with the ways I protected my nieces and nephews, the world knew not to mess with what I considered mine.

Despite Pam's aversion to the teacups she liked all of Jason and Adylinn's children. She was the one that charted all the birthdays and spent my money buying them gifts. Pam said it was because they didn't smell as bad as the fully human kind, we all knew she was lying and left her to her delusions. Pam's cold and heartless demeanour had grown soft. I actually preferred her like that despite my earlier claims to the contrary. She bartered their inherited fairy gifts like the madam she once was for those who were interested in monetising that. Those children had more parents than they could count, Pam was like a lioness with her cubs. Her threats leaving many trembling in fear.

'_It may be 10 minutes from now or 10 years, the moment you think you're safe, I promise I will hunt you down and fuckin' shred you like confetti.'_

It wasn't long before everywhere around the world people owed Pam. I had expected her to move away from the place she called my windy shithole, never having been one to enjoy the cold. She always said we needed her here, but I suspected it was more that she needed to be here rather than anywhere else. Lafayette was the only one that ever left us for substantial periods of time. Their relationship had grown tense with the loss of the child that had bound them together initially. They both blamed Pam for that loss even though Tara herself had absolved her from that guilt beyond the grave.

Lafayette had a far better grasp of his medium gift as a vampire than in his human days and Tara had made it known that she had found peace. In return it had salved the torn relationship between maker and remaining child. Much like his cousin, Lafayette's vampire status had given him the strength to stand and survive the ages where resentment had wasted away at his human existence.

'_This is who you are now. Top of the chain. No human can hurt you any longer. They're yours to savor.'_

It took Lafayette longer than most to accept his new existence. He only became a force to be reckoned with when he finally relocated his 'fabulousity'. His word not mine. Lafayette was the last person I expected our blood to thrive in but it blossomed inside of him. Pam rarely took credit for it but she lay fully deserving of it.

'_We procreate because we want to, not because some dickhead dipped in afterbirth told us to.'_

Pam seemed to be collecting children because loved ones couldn't let them go. It's how Tara was born and for Tara, Lafayette was born. She often joked it was payback for forcing me to turn her. Pam seemed careless in the decision to become their maker but she knew exactly what she was taking on, the hurt and neglect she would have to rectify. Like no other she seemed to know exactly what they needed, her façade hinted at little depth where in truth oceans resided. Pam adored the colour pink because it displayed a softness she would otherwise never express but in something as unfeeling as a piece of cloth she could convey more than anyone else. Applying her daily makeup was like putting on war paints, she had more to protect inside than most.

_"I never forget a pretty face. You're in my vault."_

Pam was so much more than the pretty face she presented to be. She had the fragility of a china doll but appeared to be made of impenetrable steel. I will need no vault to archive the woman who walked beside me for millennia, she'll always be at the forefront of my mind and reside closely in my heart. She was unique and I'll never find one like her again. Then again I never found her. Pam found me.

If she were still here today she would tell me to dial it back a notch or two. I would most likely be starting to piss her off with my internal musings but a secret part of her would relish in the existence of it. That I cared enough to.

Though I had let her go, she always remained mine. There was a youth to her spirit that refused to relent even in old age, she knew how to draw attention to herself despite the fierce competition in the room. I had sought her out after our chance encounter on the streets of San Francisco but it was her draw that brought me there. It wasn't merely lust or attraction, she simply took charge. Like no other she knew how to work man or room.

Pam took matters into her own hands. Not like Godric even though the end result was the same. I didn't dissuade her like I had fervently tried with my maker. She wanted to continue on but knew things would never be the same. Pam never was the type to leave a party last, despite always arriving fashionably late. I think she was the first one to coin that phrase, her laziness never had us arriving anywhere on time. Pam left before anyone else could, so she would not feel the pain of losing all, preferring to inflict the pain on herself than at the hands of another.

She lived far longer than I had ever expected her to. We all lived far longer than any of us had expected. Pam left us in the style of which she was born, always remaining my child, petulance firmly intact. She remained the eternal apple of my eye and it saddened me I would never get to see her shine again.

Pam made the decision for us both, just like she had determined we would walk the world together for eternity. She refused to walk it alone, Pam averted the wound before it was allowed to strike. So I had sat with Sookie by my side as the sun rose and we watched her die. In ultimate defiance to the sun she never missed, Pam flipped it off before she fell to dust.

She did me proud.

I would have expected nothing less.

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**A/N:** **As always the next banner is up on the blog, direct link is in my profile or navigate to the It's Already Gone page on hisviks dot wordpress dot com…**

**I was purposefully vague on the decision that led to Pam's self-inflicted death, you'll have to wait for next week's (final) chapter although next week's banner will give an indication. **

**this website is being a bit of a pain with the reviews, sometimes I'll receive notification of them via email but they won't show up on the page. Sometimes the reverse happens so if I have been remiss in thanking you for your kind words I apologise and take this as my gratitude for taking the time to leave a review. **

**Pam is one my favourite characters and I think like Jason and Lafayette she has been elevated from the books to epic proportions on the show. This was probably the hardest chapter for me to write because her character inspires me like no other, those who have read this story and From Time Immemorial will know how much I enjoy getting in that twisted head of hers but alas it is what it is. At least I know she'll enjoy where she's headed...**

_"I'll be in Hell having a three-way with the Devil."_


	10. Chapter 10 - Eric Sookie

_A/N: I have noticed from some of the reviewers' responses that fact and fiction between this and other season 7 fanfics, as well as the actual show, things are merging a bit so I will be posting a short summary of the previous chapters from now on. If you remember everything perfectly skip on over the italics to get to the chapter._

_Ch 1 – Alcide_

_Alcide gets killed in the attack by the swarm of Hep-V infected vampires at the end of season 6. Seeing that I wrote this entire story before watching season 7 they are more akin to the zombie like versions we saw in the season 6 finale. Sookie realises that though she cared for Alcide she stayed with him out of guilt rather than truly loving him._

_Ch 2 – Jessica_

_Eric kills Jessica thinking she is Bill as he recuperates from his fight with the sun when the Warlow SPF ran out. He ends up crawling out of the shelter of his cave as he fears Bill will come after him next. He reopens the bond to Pam who is by his side instantly at the ready to take him to the windy shithole in Öland which she painted pink in retaliation for his extended absence._

_Ch 3 – Sam_

_Sam commits suicide as Nicole and the baby were killed on the same night as Alcide. He waits till the moment Sookie returns from Jackson MI to do the deed. He feels like no one is there for him as anyone he's ever loved dies. He sent Sookie a goodbye note and an extensive list of all Bill's victims leaving Sookie to realise she isn't the angel of death but rather it is with Bill's introduction that the body count started to stack up. Sookie and Tara commiserate over ice cream post funeral but Tara runs off in sudden haste and Sookie follows her across the cemetery towards Bill's house._

_Ch 4 – Bill_

_In exchange for being 'nice' to Sookie Pam is given the honour of killing Bill for his attempt to kill Eric. Although Tara's enthusiasm of seeing her maker again throws off Pam's upper hand Sookie ends up saving the day by tossing her the stake that ends Bill Compton's undead existence. Sookie demands to know where Eric is claiming she'll teleport her way over there seeing that the Southern states are held in quarantine to stop Hep-V from spreading any further. Sookie and Eric speak over the phone instead where she confesses to finding the girl in the white dress again, Bill had been keeping that hostage. Pam doesn't understand what's so magical about Sookie's shower._

_Ch 5 – Lafayette_

_Another spirit possesses Lafayette and it turns deadly on the night Pam was supposed to air lift Sookie and a few others from the quarantine zone to then travel to Sweden where Eric continues to recover. Eric and Sookie talk over the phone as he tries to assure her everything will be okay and that she will be safely by his side soon enough. In the end it is revealed that Pam is to become Lafayette's maker in two nights. _

_Ch 6 – The Citizens of Bon Temps_

_Sookie, Jason and Willa hide out in the cubby while Pam, Lafayette and Tara reside in a turning grave. Violet tries to fight them on her own. The town of Bon Temps is terrorised by a larger swarm of Hep-V zombies who destroyed every single property and attempted to turn all the town's inhabitants in a mass grave. Sookie and Jason find Adylinn as a lone survivor in the former fae club Hooligan's clutching her father's dead body. They decide to burn everyone to make sure there are no successful turnings._

_Ch 7 – Tara Mae Thornton_

_Pam escorted the last survivors safely out of Bon Temps and brings them to the windy shithole in Sweden. Eric convinces the US government, with a little blackmail info acquired through Sookie's telepathy, to take out the HEP-V infected vampires with UV-light equipped drones instead of simply containing the area and waiting for their food supply to die out. After 60 blissful years and a relatively happy existence on the anniversary of Bill's death Tara is taken out by a previously unknown vampire sister of Bill Compton. Pam is pissed._

_Ch 8 – Jason Stackhouse_

_Sookie, Jason and Adylinn have not aged a day since leaving Bon Temps and are unknowing to the cause of it. Eric has become somewhat immune to the sun through continual blood exchanges with Sookie. Jason lived a very long and fulfilling life having a multitude of children with Adylinn after doing the rounds with any available woman in Sweden for the first twenty years. Tara nudged the couple in the right direction. Jason died a true hero rescuing others from a snowy mountaintop. _

_Ch 9 – Pamela Swynford de Beaufort_

_After millennia's by Eric and Sookie's side, Pam called it quits by giving a big F U to the sun. The following chapter will explain why. She'll happily be in hell having a three-way with the devil._

**Chapter 10 – Sookie Stackhouse + Eric Northman**

"_Everything ends. Even the immortals."_ – Eric Northman s03e09

They sat in the same spot where it all started for them. Well truly started, the small creek under the heavy moon in the backwoods of her former home. It was the first time they had returned to these lands since Pam and Lafayette flew Sookie and the other out. Her home still stood proudly maintained by Eric for all this time. Jason's children and their descendants had visited now and then, curious of their family's simple beginnings. The stone slabs on their family graves had been replaced every century. Eric had done that for all the stones of the Bon Temps cemetery alongside the memorial plaque that listed all the names of those that had died that fateful night decimating the town's population to three. All gravestones had been meticulously maintained except one, Bill Compton's grave was left to the ages. It wasn't at Eric's behest but at Sookie's. And a little nudging from Pam.

It wouldn't be long now, they both knew that. The moon stood in a similar stance as it had then. They had debated between this place and the former ground that held Fangtasia. That is where they truly met the first time, eyes locking on to another across the dim lighted room. The absence of light made no difference to them.

The lustre of radiance. That is what it was like to them, they were each shining forth brightly towards one another. Fear had them pulling away instantly to what it could mean. They had discussed it often enough, how things could have been different but they had made peace with their past as it had been .Giving them time together neither one had ever thought possible.

"Remember that night?" she said into the cool air as they stared jointly at the last sight of the moon.

"When you walked into my bar?" he asked of the many special nights between them. That had been their beginning so he figured he would start there. She nodded in accordance against his chest placing a soft kiss to his once beating heart. "Like it was yesterday."

"Me too," she sighed wistfully as the emotions of those beginnings washed over them collectively.

"Remember when I turned you?" Eric prodded as he gently kissed the expanse of her forehead, the difference in their body temperatures still apparent.

"How could I forget?" she smiled up at him losing herself in his eyes. That never changed between them, they spoke more volumes in a gaze than words ever could. It also caused more problems than it should. "I was never angrier in my life."

"Not as angry as I was when I found I had no command of you." He chuckled at the memory. It certainly hadn't been a good night then but it offered for a lot of comic relief now.

"Well I was missing an essential set of equipment," she quipped with a smile showing of her decidedly human set of pearly whites. "You didn't even notice my heart was still beating."

"Did so," he snapped back like a petulant boy that was reminiscent of the Eric without his memories. He acted annoyed even though they both knew it to be a lie. The kiss he planted on her only confirmed as much.

"It was nice of Niall to explain after he was done laughing at us," Sookie said as her warm fingers found his intertwining them in his cold grasp. His lips grazed the back of her hand before he gave it a cool kiss.

The secret to her expanded life turned out to be the fae water they drank after all. It had been what the fairies had been fighting amongst each other over all those years. By abducting the hybrids and feeding them the fruit of the light they drained their essential spark allowing the fae to become truly immortal. However the formula had not been perfected till the last batch, which Sookie, Jason and Adylinn had drank from. None of the fairies had been able to drink that on account of Warlow's surprise attack. They were not without vulnerabilities, lemon and iron were lethal where they had never been before. Without knowing it they had instinctively avoided both.

Niall had thrown out the rest of the water and the formula, it had brought nothing but war and bloodshed. Aside from the incidental rogue fairy treat that was tossed Eric or Pam's way the Fae realm was now at peace. Adylinn and some of her descendants had retreated there since Pam's death a few weeks ago. Things were uncertain for their future but they had a possibility of it there.

Eric's botched attempt at turning Sookie never took hold over the spark that defined her fairy nature, it held far more strength than the magic that animated the nocturnal. Afterwards he felt he should have rationally known that, Sookie was more resilient than any other being he had ever come across. She had simply reset her life force when Eric had drained her of all her blood and replaced it with his own. It had been a harrowing experience for them both as she had made it quite clear that after the Warlow affair she never wanted to contemplate becoming a vampire again. He had made the decision for her and she was decidedly pissed. And horny, on account of all the blood. It was torment and delight all rolled into one.

They had excavated Jason's grave the next day but unfortunately the resetting life force only applied to those that carried the spark. The coffin had never been opened, Eric could smell the final decay that indicated only bones had remained inside while Sookie's telepathy had confirmed the rest. It had been an idle hope but one they could not afford to ignore.

"Do you have any regrets?" he asked refusing acknowledge the turning incident as one. Even if Sookie had hated him until the end of days in her newfound state Eric would have preferred it to her final death. Had she still wanted to die after that, they would go and meet the sun together. Just like now.

"Do you?" she asked with some accusation. It was still a sore spot between them even if it was so long ago.

"Some," he said without supplication. They were mostly of his time before her, despite the manipulations of his actions he would never regret a single step. Nor dispensing a single drop of his blood. It had brought him to her in the end, to this end.

"Wasting time," she finally answered as the silence had continued on.

"You really thought it would last forever?" They had experienced plenty of it, more millennia than any could have imagined. Through it all they had found something new and exciting to live for every night and partial day. It was a tradition instilled by Sookie as the memory of Godric's end had never left her. Despite Eric's lust for life she refused for time to defy them or beat them down.

She merely shrugged in response.

"Not even the earth could last as long as us," he returned supplying the answer of why they were both sitting here right now with a technologically improved version of the iStake strapped to their chests.

They were immortal but the universe wasn't. The sun was set to explode taking the rest with it. Sookie could have gone with Adylinn to the safety of the Fae realm. They didn't know how this solar system's demise would impact the alternate realm, but it stood a chance. It was, however, certain Eric would not be able to survive there despite his limited tolerance of the sun. They had attempted it once under Niall's invitation and she had nearly lost him then and with that experience she refused to test it again.

Eric could have accompanied Lafayette and Willa. They had departed weeks ago with Pam's empty seat next to them. They were off to a planet that sustained no human life but would be safe from the impact. There they would have to subsist on True Blood, which despite millennia of technology still tasted like cardboard shit. Eric was a survivor but that sounded more like sustaining rather than anything else. Sookie's immortality would allow her to journey there but she would continually die and reset again. Essentially she would be comatose and unable to decompose. Neither one of them wanted that for the rest of eternity nor did they want to be apart.

"So what now?" Sookie asked in a small voice. It didn't come out often, only when she deferred to him and Eric could easily count the number of times that had happened on his two hands.

"We start again, find each other once more."

"Think we'll find each other with more ease this time?" she probed with a small smile. The length of time they had been together had been comforting and rewarding but the thought of reliving those early sensations of the unknown gave her tingles with something to look forward to again. Their love was one of contentment and ease now but it no longer had that spark of newness. The thrill of the unknown was long lost. They had matured into something beautiful which spoke of a commitment that few could witness for themselves.

"Nothing's ever been easy with us," he said with a small chuckle as his fingers traced the line of her jaw to memory. "That's the beauty of it, is it not?"

She hummed in agreement. "How about you be the innocent virgin this time," Sookie mused. He looked down to her eyes once more as they filled with mirth. As always he relished at the sight. Nothing ever got old between them, even when they did.

"I hope for my sake that you get to wait a thousand years while I only have to wait till the age of twelve," he smirked with a waggle of his expressive brows. The sight of it still annoyed her and tickled her at the same time.

"Twelve!" she screeched incensed. "I'm not having sex with you at twelve!"

"Who says it will be you," Eric taunted delighting that the embers of her fire had never died down. "It's not like you offered yourself up like a virgin sacrifice to me. I need to have some experience to please the likes of you."

She rolled her eyes in annoyance though it was much more for dramatics' sake because they both enjoyed this 'argument' far more than either one would let up. As fundamental as their bond was to their relationship it lay long forgotten now as it had become all but an internal mechanisation. "And who will bring you to me? Pam?"

Eric remained pensively silent as he searched his mind for possible candidates before he finally settled on one. "Jessica."

"Jessica?" she retorted with a glint in her sparkly eyes. "Well at least you make it easy for me."

Eric let out a malcontent harrumph as he admitted, "I thought taking you from Bill would be like taking candy from a baby. Don't underestimate Lorena's line, their vampire gifts were all related to manipulation; blood, glamour and imitation."

"What did you say to Bill that made him let you go that night?" she asked in reference to that defining evening of their joined history that had led them to this exact spot. The creek, illuminated by a full moon where nature's carpet had engulfed them like a nest.

"I asked him to tell you I was born the night you found me. Because of you I went to my true death knowing what it means to love," he replied remembering that vulnerable moment on his knees. "I think that was Bill's only decent act."

"You never told me that before," she said with tears in her eyes at the beauty of his words. That their mere nights together had meant so much to him when he had no sense of the world around him anymore. Sookie no longer regretted letting him go when he regained his memories, she only truly came to understand the man with memories when he was no longer in her life and lived solely in her mind. She needed to make those mistakes to understand what he stood to offer her.

"You never asked." His thumbs cleansed her beautiful face of the damning tears. Eric had done it so often now that they no longer scared him nor did they make him feel helpless at the mere sight. He simply gave the comfort he could afford to give her.

"We should have done more of that," Sookie said regretfully.

"We will next time," he spoke assuredly as he kissed the tip of her nose.

Sookie swallowed the remnants of her tears while giving him an agreeable nod. Her mind turned back to the previous conversation they had as she asked "What will be your gift?"

"Cunnilingus," he returned without hesitation. Millennia's on this earth and she was still capable of blushing at his continual crudeness. She shook her head in admonishing but the tight smile of amusement was incapable of hiding on her expressive face.

"That's a skill not a gift," she pointed out in serious tone that neither one of them believed. "One which you apparently are intent on cultivating from the age of twelve." Her apparent jealousy and annoyance was one they both didn't deny to be true in their imagined alternate reality. Eric's glee merely ran rampant and infected her accordingly.

"Fine," he said giving in to her as he always did. "I will save myself for you even though you never did for me. I hope I last longer than 30 seconds for your sake."

"Thank you," Sookie expressed softly as her hand petted his forearm, like she always did when getting her way. Which was often. Pam had declared him pussy whipped from day one and even Jason did not shy away from calling him just that. He didn't care, as long as that pussy belonged to Sookie Stackhouse-Northman there was little he would deny her.

"How long?" she asked noticing the onset of twilight.

"Not long," he said showing her the countdown on the clock. "You can still go to Faerie," he offered once more as his fingertips trailed through her hair. She simply shook her head in defiance, it wasn't often she actually did what he told her to do. What he wanted her to do.

Their lips locked as their gazes remained unwavering. Their tongues stroked each other with practice and caresses only two lovers as old as they could express. There wasn't excitement only comfort. It was glorious to them both. The times of regret were over, they had carried many but none had emerged once reunited in the cool climates of the windy shithole. The fever that ran between them never died down and they both knew it would survive this.

"This is right," Sookie declared. "This is best."

"I knew you would be the death of me," he smirked one last time.

"Happy to oblige," she returned the words that had sounded archaic to her when he had first spoken them to her. "So this is the end."

"I love you," Eric said reverently as he stole her lips for the last time.

"I love you too," she breathed out before taking in the last gust of oxygen that would sustain her life.

"Till next time."

Their bodies fell to combust at the same time, his a dark ash and hers a bright sparkling dust. The winds twirled them together as they were one and apart again. The sun set to explode and all matter was lost.

…

"Everything ends. Even the immortals," Niall remarked to Lilith. "He said that once."

"Well he did have a psychic once," Lilith returned with a fangy smile to which Niall chuckled in delight.

"What do you say," Niall proffered. "Should we allow them their narrative?"

"Yeah," she said with a softness in her eyes. "Go on."

….

…

…

**A/N: I warned for a non-traditional HEA and this was it and I hope you now all understand Pam's choice from last week. So I'll be sad to see this story go but I'm very thankful for all the wonderful reviews that were left behind in support for this story. I'm so pleased many of you stuck around after offing Bill, even if it didn't get any easier after that.**

**I wrote this in ten days before the season started because with all the spoilers that were being thrown around my stomach started to churn a little harder each time. (Had I written this during the season I wouldn't have thrown Bill a bone in this chapter so feel free to ignore that rare nicety). I knew I wanted closure and TB wasn't going to offer it. This did it for me.**

**This story isn't happy unicorns and rainbows so I don't know if people actually want to reread this at a later date but I have put up a completed .epub and .pdf file on my blog find the direct link on the It's Already Gone page which is up in my profile. If you want a different file format or have a specific device just leave a comment there and I will try to accommodate that if I can. **

**MsBuffy, Beta extraordinaire and devoted supporter of this fandom, is issuing a 'Dream Team' challenge where ten fanfic authors are nominated by the readers to rewrite Season 7. I have put the direct link in my profile as this site is censoring everything I type... Leave your suggestion for writers and betas in the comments section I'm not sure what the cut-off date is but it's soon. ****Results of the ten nominated authors ****will be up by the 28****th****. You don't need to sign up with wordpress in order to leave a comment behind. **

**Gyllene is also hosting a HEA contest on her site and she is encouraging new talent to join. Entries due by August 31****st****.**

**I got started with Sephrenia's Writing Challenge and it was a really great experience so don't be shy, it's all good fun. Nobody bites, well maybe Eric but I doubt you'd mind. Sephrenia will also be hosting another round of that challenge soon, the banners are already done and I will put in a reminder in an A/N in my other stories when it's fully up. **


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